sorted went to Sony Ericsson site and you can download settings from there. Only thing I did that was change from pop3 to IMAP manually afterwards as I only want to download messages to PC. Just want phone to see what's in there.
Also weird thing is it sends out using smtp.t-email.co.uk instead of the ntlworld smtp but still shows up as being from my email address. So I'm happy.
Hopefully someone with the same problem as me will come across this thread and it will help them.