Call Centre Diary Blog

[Richard M]

I found this quite amusing:
http://callcentrediary.blogspot.com/

[greencreeper]

Simon, the Craig David looky likey, spent the morning flicking rice crispies into the fly zapper.

It kept him amused between calls for hours until he started to get over confident and used an elastic band and a paperclip.

A misfire hit Bess from Janiceââ‚Ã⠀šÃ‚¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚¢s team square on the arse.

It caused a diplomatic incident that rumbled on all afternoon.

I donââ‚Âà ‚¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚¢t think I helped matters by saying †œI think the lady doth protest too much.ââ‚ƚ¬Ã‚ÂÂÂ�

There are times when Hamlet doesnââ‚ƚ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t help matters.

I have the impression that his blog is his coping mechanism.

[edit] It gets better and better. Biting sarcasm "I watched Hamlet at Strafford over the weekend. I donââ‚Âà ‚¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚¢t know why Iâ₠¬ÃƒÆ’¢â€žÂ¢m drawn to a drama about an overly introspective genius who is stalled by in-action while being surrounded by manipulative, corrupt fools, but I do find it compelling". I'm pretty good myself but he's a master - respect!

[Shaun]

Originally Posted by Richard M

I found this quite amusing:
http://callcentrediary.blogspot.com/

Sunday, September 12, 2004
The Hardest Word to Say

Conclusion of Module One of how to deal with Call Centres

Students, in short, when making a complaint to a Call Centre: polite tenacity always wins.

Remember - life's short - take it easy - there's probably a policy of submission at some point and it's better to get there calmly rather than blowing a gasket.

Here is some help decoding some of that Call Centre double speak:

"I can only apologise ..."

What they really mean is : "I'm getting bored of you now and will repeat this over and over and over until you give in."

"You'll need to write in."*

What they really mean is: "I can't be arsed sorting out your problem"

You'll never actually get a response to your letter because the correspondence department will think, 'it's better to deal with these matters on the phone' and they'll probably send you a letter asking you to ring in again.

*This will usually be followed by "If you get a pen I'll give you the address." Because it sounds helpful.

"I'm sorry you feel like ..."

Well done. You have reached a black-belt numpty. This is the art of Call Centre jujitsu. A compliant art, where the operator uses the customer's strength against them - it appears that they are apologising, but in fact they are not admitting to anything, merely acknowledging that you are ****ed off.


Remember, these master-classes are not available in the shops, and are exclusive to Call Centre Confidential. Coming Next: Module Two: Sales, selling and saying "sod off".

Boy he knows his stuff. Maybe this is directly off a laminate from NTL/Dell/insert company here.

Edit - His cast list is also rather amusing : http://callcentrediarycast.blogspot.com/

I don't think this bloke can ever get caught, as this could be ANY of the call centres that i have worked in. Its brilliant, very very funny