Gay men and children

[Ramrod]

Originally Posted by greencreeper

Yeah but you have to understand that for them they've found the Holy Grail - a woman that can talk their language

lol.......when I was 17 I had a g/f who was into RPG's and Sci-Fi/Fantasy......and she was a looker.........fantastic!

[basa]

From my own point of view (I have two young daughters) it matters not whom they talk to on the net, be they male, female gay or straight. It is the 'intent' that is important.

I have less problem with them talking to gays (male or female) than possible 'perv' grey mac straight guys. The main problem is how do you know which is which anyway.

<basa logs onto MSN and dons grey mac>

[Florence]

It is never easy to tell who is a perv or not until they type messages and the conversation turns that way. I have found that when having a conversation with my online friends those that are gay are more sensitive and express themselves slightly differently. Some more flamboyant than others but there is a difference. A perv is the hardest to detect and both my children are very good with the block button.

There is one thing that I have explained to my two children if a friend has told them they are gay that they shouldn't tell others its up to the person who they tell and we have to respect that.

[tkiely]

There seems to be some misconception among parts of society that being gay means you are also a perv or a paedophile!

As mentioned before, its the 'intent' of the person speaking to your child that matters, not sexual persuasion, gender or even age. Some of the kids can be as bad as the adults.

Originally Posted by Richard M

"You're a girl??? Got a pic?" Losers...

Get a picture of her smiling and behind her you standing there with a large axe and grinning like a maniac! "Him? Oh, that's my dad...!"

So I decide to have an evening off from forums and play some Shogun: Total War, and when I come back, I find I've missed a thread like this

Some comments:

Firstly, as always, the threat to children from strangers is exaggerated, an abuser is much more likely to be a close family member/ friend/ trusted adult.

Secondly, there's more older straight guys out there pretending to be young boys (or girls) cruising for young girls than alleged "predatory gays".

Thirdly, as has been pointed out already, there is a definite element of parental responsibility. If your child said "It's 9pm I'm going to the local park to chat to anyone I meet there", any responsible parent would say "no way!", but they seem happy to let kids chat on the net without supervision, not realising it's a gateway to the whole world. They should either keep an eye on them or talk to them about what happens.

Fourthly, being gay doesn't mean you're automatically a paedophile or interested in "seducing" or "corrupting" young boys. Making prejudiced judgements like this says more about the speaker.

Finally: EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN! I keep saying this and maybe, someday, people will take notice. TELL them about sex, ALL of it, not just the bits that you "approve of", treat them as adults and they're more likely to be behave in an adult way.

If you lie to them or suppress information they need, they'll find out one way or another and their attitude is going to be "well if they don't trust me, why should I bother listening to them?"

Your choice.

Originally Posted by Graham

So I decide to have an evening off from forums and play some Shogun: Total War, and when I come back, I find I've missed a thread like this

Some comments:

Firstly, as always, the threat to children from strangers is exaggerated, an abuser is much more likely to be a close family member/ friend/ trusted adult.

Secondly, there's more older straight guys out there pretending to be young boys (or girls) cruising for young girls than alleged "predatory gays".

Thirdly, as has been pointed out already, there is a definite element of parental responsibility. If your child said "It's 9pm I'm going to the local park to chat to anyone I meet there", any responsible parent would say "no way!", but they seem happy to let kids chat on the net without supervision, not realising it's a gateway to the whole world. They should either keep an eye on them or talk to them about what happens.

Fourthly, being gay doesn't mean you're automatically a paedophile or interested in "seducing" or "corrupting" young boys. Making prejudiced judgements like this says more about the speaker.

Finally: EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN! I keep saying this and maybe, someday, people will take notice. TELL them about sex, ALL of it, not just the bits that you "approve of", treat them as adults and they're more likely to be behave in an adult way.

If you lie to them or suppress information they need, they'll find out one way or another and their attitude is going to be "well if they don't trust me, why should I bother listening to them?"

Your choice.

Well said.

[Nugget]

Originally Posted by Graham

So I decide to have an evening off from forums and play some Shogun: Total War, and when I come back, I find I've missed a thread like this

Some comments:

Firstly, as always, the threat to children from strangers is exaggerated, an abuser is much more likely to be a close family member/ friend/ trusted adult.

Secondly, there's more older straight guys out there pretending to be young boys (or girls) cruising for young girls than alleged "predatory gays".

Thirdly, as has been pointed out already, there is a definite element of parental responsibility. If your child said "It's 9pm I'm going to the local park to chat to anyone I meet there", any responsible parent would say "no way!", but they seem happy to let kids chat on the net without supervision, not realising it's a gateway to the whole world. They should either keep an eye on them or talk to them about what happens.

Fourthly, being gay doesn't mean you're automatically a paedophile or interested in "seducing" or "corrupting" young boys. Making prejudiced judgements like this says more about the speaker.

Finally: EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN! I keep saying this and maybe, someday, people will take notice. TELL them about sex, ALL of it, not just the bits that you "approve of", treat them as adults and they're more likely to be behave in an adult way.

If you lie to them or suppress information they need, they'll find out one way or another and their attitude is going to be "well if they don't trust me, why should I bother listening to them?"

Your choice.

Very well said Graham - you've made some very pertinent points there. I particularly agree with the point regarding education - IMO, it's important that kids / teenagers are aware that the differences between people don't just relate to the way they look but can be psychological / sexual / whatever.

[kronas]

Originally Posted by Nugget

Very well said Graham - you've made some very pertinent points there. I particularly agree with the point regarding education - IMO, it's important that kids / teenagers are aware that the differences between people don't just relate to the way they look but can be psychological / sexual / whatever.

the problem is its not up to the education system to do that, its the parents that should do it , but ultimately if the ignorance starts with the parents then there cannot be that sufficient education to teach young people about tolerance, diffarences in society.

i have seen how people react to others because of their looks, sexuality etc, from a young persons perspective its just plain ignorance.

[bbwannabe]

Since i dont have kids of me own, i will put myself into the same position as if i did. Because i have a friend who happens to prefer men i wouldnt have any problems with my son (or daughter) talking to them like over the net, but if some sort of decision was made to met up id be cautious. It wouldnt matter to me if they were straight or gay but the meeting up in realife is a dangerous concept for me, so id prob ok it if it was supervised by me. If it was my gay friend i wouldnt have any worries about him talking to my son as i will have known him for a long time rather than someone who i havent known for as long.

Hope that made sense.

[Escapee]

Originally Posted by Graham

So I decide to have an evening off from forums and play some Shogun: Total War, and when I come back, I find I've missed a thread like this

Some comments:

Firstly, as always, the threat to children from strangers is exaggerated, an abuser is much more likely to be a close family member/ friend/ trusted adult.

Secondly, there's more older straight guys out there pretending to be young boys (or girls) cruising for young girls than alleged "predatory gays".

Thirdly, as has been pointed out already, there is a definite element of parental responsibility. If your child said "It's 9pm I'm going to the local park to chat to anyone I meet there", any responsible parent would say "no way!", but they seem happy to let kids chat on the net without supervision, not realising it's a gateway to the whole world. They should either keep an eye on them or talk to them about what happens.

Fourthly, being gay doesn't mean you're automatically a paedophile or interested in "seducing" or "corrupting" young boys. Making prejudiced judgements like this says more about the speaker.

Finally: EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN! I keep saying this and maybe, someday, people will take notice. TELL them about sex, ALL of it, not just the bits that you "approve of", treat them as adults and they're more likely to be behave in an adult way.

If you lie to them or suppress information they need, they'll find out one way or another and their attitude is going to be "well if they don't trust me, why should I bother listening to them?"

Your choice.

I agree!

Especially your first point, the majority of abusers are known to the family. family themselves, step fathers, family friends and the trusted adults. It appears that many would be abusers place themselves in contact with groups of children, unfortuately it has given many organisations a bad name/stigma attached. I,m sure we have all read stories about adults involved in Scouts, Cubs, Boys Clubs, Church groups and taking jobs in schools etc, just to surround themselves with opportunities.

It's a subject that I gave a lot of thought to earlier this year, when my nasty ex-girlfriend made a comment with absolutely no grounds to me about such a thing. She said I could be like that! I can only think she either said it to be nasty or thought it because I am not married and live on my own.
People who know me said "what rubbish" or 'you don't even like kids"

Do you think I'm right about them always surrounding themselves with children?

I understand that paedophiles generally have difficulty distinguishing between children and adults, they see children as small adults.
I have generally stayed away from these sort of discussions, because I always thought I didn't have any valid views because I have no children.

I must admit her disgusting remarks have made me more inclined to make my point on the matter.

Perverts should be castrated!

[greencreeper]

Originally Posted by Escapee

I understand that paedophiles generally have difficulty distinguishing between children and adults, they see children as small adults.
I have generally stayed away from these sort of discussions, because I always thought I didn't have any valid views because I have no children.

Another important point is that the sexuality of the offender has nothing to do with the gender of their victims. Many of the offenders who abuse boys are actually straight and many will themselves have been abused by a male friend or relative when younger.

[Escapee]

Originally Posted by greencreeper

Another important point is that the sexuality of the offender has nothing to do with the gender of their victims. Many of the offenders who abuse boys are actually straight and many will themselves have been abused by a male friend or relative when younger.

Yes quite, I also understand that they have usually been victims themselves. I also undestand some Arab nations have a tendency for abusing boys, but they would never consider thos actions between adults.

Not trying to sidetrack here, and trying to keep things polite etc. The nasty ex-girlfriend touched me in a certain area of the body that I don't like, and when I tensed up she said "whats wrong were you abused as a child" add to that the time she curled up into a ball when I shouted, and I guess she was probably the one abused as a youngster and that could probably explain her nasty attack on me and the question that I thought to be very strange.

[Tazfan]

So Im not the only gay guy on here then?

[Russ]

Originally Posted by Tazfan

So Im not the only gay guy on here then?

Heck no, sometimes there's so many around there's no room to breathe!