Gay men and children

[punky]

From my parents' view, I think they would have a problem generally. Not so much now, but if I was 12 maybe. They are fairly conservative, and just see it being as abnormal. I'm guessing as they see it that way, like they wouldn't want their child to be abnormal in any way. In a sense its not really their fault, it was just the way they were raised. I know a few tend to want their sons to avoid it because its a hard life - what with the opression they still have to face. Which funnily enough is caused by the very same people, so it is of their own making. Nowadays my parents wouldn't mind so much as my informative years are probably over. Actually I don't think they would have minded when I was 12 because I was born fairly mature and sensible (or in my dad's words: "An old woman") . It meant they never really hassled me like they did with the other two.

From my own perspective, when I become a parent, it wouldn't bother me. I don't see gays as abnormal, and people shouldn't be "punished" for a lifestyle choice that does noone no harm. If I caught anyone trying to influence his sexuality, i'd be angry, as I would if it was anything, big or small. If he came to the descision of his own free will, then i'd be as happy as if he was straight and support him. I would probably kinda worry about it, not because gay people do that, but because everyone does it. Be with drugs, or criminal mischief, etc. Actually i'd much rather raise a gay person than a homophobe.

I would like to say though, you seem like an alright bloke to me, so you'd be pretty much exempt from the second paragraph description.

[greencreeper]

Originally Posted by punky

From my parents view, I think they would have a problem generally. Not so much now, but if I was 12 maybe. They are fairly conservative, and just see it being as abnormal. I'm guessing as they see it that way, like they wouldn't want their child to be abnormal in any way. In a sense its not really their fault, it was just the way they were raised. I know a few tend to want their sons to avoid it because its a hard life - what with the opression they still have to face. Which funnily enough is caused by the very same people, so it is of their own making. Nowadays my parents wouldn't mind so much as my informative years are probably over. Actually I don't think they would of minded when I was 12 because I was born fairly mature and sensible (or in my dad's words: "An old woman") . It meant they never really hassled me like they did with the other two.
<snip>

I really like how you've just poured out your thoughts and feelings. It's refreshing. Too many people filter what they think and feel - sort of prepare it for the world.

Originally Posted by punky

I would like to say though, you seem like an alright bloke to me, so you'd be pretty much exempt from the second paragraph description.

:o No comment

[Richard M]

Wow!
Is it just me or are we witnessing a proper debate on CF without it decending into rep wars and suspensions!?

Currently, I think that I wouldn't mind a kid of mine talking to an adult on the internet.

However, I believe that if I do become a parent and I develop paternal instincts, I probably will be much more protective and I think that I would mind. It's nothing to do with homosexuality, as I said before, I probably wouldn't like a daughter of mine to talk to an older male on the internet in the same way.

[Richard M]

Personally, I would be very wary of any adult talking to my daughter on the net.
If it was my son I wouldn't feel so bad about it but if I had a daughter I wouuldn't want her speaking to older guys if she's under 16.
I know the way the net works* so I would have a hard time trusting them.

*For example, my ex (who is now one of my best mates) gets hassled non-stop about the fact that she's female every time she plays Ghost Recon or Call of Duty online by stupid male geeks who can't get a real girlfriend.

"You're a girl??? Got a pic?" Losers...

[Florence]

Originally Posted by Richard M

Personally, I would be very wary of any adult talking to my daughter on the net.
If it was my son I wouldn't feel so bad about it but if I had a daughter I wouuldn't want her speaking to older guys if she's under 16.
I know the way the net works* so I would have a hard time trusting them.

I was worried but my daughter has shown that she is a responsible young adult and the only time she arranged to meet anyone off the net. She had known online for over a year and asked me to be with her. She still meats this lad some 2 yrs later and she is almost 17. His parents was as worried as me and his mother turned up with him. They have become close regardless of the miles they now live apart.

Originally Posted by Richard M

*For example, my ex (who is now one of my best mates) gets hassled non-stop about the fact that she's female every time she plays Ghost Recon or Call of Duty online by stupid male geeks who can't get a real girlfriend.

"You're a girl??? Got a pic?" Losers...

Thats a man problem Richard we get some coming into our chatroom asking my a/s/l they normally get put in their place. In a very nice way or kicked for not listening.

I have many online people I do chat with most are younger than me some are gay but I really don't have a problem with that. We are all equal regardless.

[Shaun]

Originally Posted by greencreeper

Say what you think and feel, not what you're supposed to think and feel

I hope you didn't cut yourself when you opened this can of worms!

[greencreeper]

Originally Posted by Richard M

Wow!
Is it just me or are we witnessing a proper debate on CF without it decending into rep wars and suspensions!?

Good isn't it

Originally Posted by Richard M

Personally, I would be very wary of any adult talking to my daughter on the net.
If it was my son I wouldn't feel so bad about it but if I had a daughter I wouuldn't want her speaking to older guys if she's under 16.
I know the way the net works* so I would have a hard time trusting them.

For me, an older man talking to a girl (15/16) is a very different thing to an older man talking to a boy. I can't explain why - I just think the issues are different somehow. It's the whole Lolita thing - the insecurities of the older male.

Originally Posted by Richard M

*For example, my ex (who is now one of my best mates) gets hassled non-stop about the fact that she's female every time she plays Ghost Recon or Call of Duty online by stupid male geeks who can't get a real girlfriend.

"You're a girl??? Got a pic?" Losers...

Yeah but you have to understand that for them they've found the Holy Grail - a woman that can talk their language

[greencreeper]

Originally Posted by dellwear

I hope you didn't cut yourself when you opened this can of worms!

I was wondering when you'd put in a post What can I say in my defence? Some worms need to see daylight once in a while On the whole the thread is quite sane and balanced though.

[Richard M]

Originally Posted by greencreeper

For me, an older man talking to a girl (15/16) is a very different thing to an older man talking to a boy. I can't explain why - I just think the issues are different somehow. It's the whole Lolita thing - the insecurities of the older male.

That's because, in general, a man should be able to look after himself - that's the way we're are brought up and that is the way a man should think.
That is why I'd be more protective over a daughter than a son.

Originally Posted by greencreeper

Yeah but you have to understand that for them they've found the Holy Grail - a woman that can talk their language

No doubt, but they're still losers...

[Shaun]

Originally Posted by greencreeper

I was wondering when you'd put in a post What can I say in my defence? Some worms need to see daylight once in a while On the whole the thread is quite sane and balanced though.

Bit too deep and meaningful for me this week I'm afraid

Glad no one's been banned or red repped (yet)

[kronas]

Originally Posted by greencreeper

Ages ago Electrolyte needed help with a Linux issue so I added him to my MSN list, and we still chat. I've often wondered what his parents would make of him chatting to a much older gay man. Would they think I was trying to seduce him? Would they worry that their perfect son had strayed onto the wild side - and blame me for leading him there?

So, any thoughts? Would you feel uneasy about your teenage son talking to an, er, old puff? What if the leader of the youth group or art teacher was gay - would being able to talk to the person and see him make any difference? What about gay men adopting children - is that appropriate or do think a female is needed? Why do you think there are issues, or am I being paranoid and in reality there are none?

Say what you think and feel, not what you're supposed to think and feel

despite the gay parents issue being discussed before along with the rest ill add my comment.

i personally have no problems with gay people, i am freinds with some that are, if my parents knew or any of my other freinds that some of them are gay it WOULD be a huge issue, other people would turn their backs on the few that are gay including my parents and urge me to 'stay away' from people like 'them' its not simply because they 'fear' them but its the typical stigma attached with the mentality of 'catching aids etc...

the paranoia thing is just there in some people as with any issue people are very dismissive of subjects that they dont understand, this adds to the furore thats caused by the 'community' and condemnation by others around the area if they knew, then it would become one sided and as per misconceptions.

personally people should accept others as the they are, to be honest i see a person as a human being, nothing changes my attitude towards gay people, i treat then equally, but others will not, a certain fear grows in some people about the mentality such as 'he might influence my son' or 'my son might catch something' then the thought control of 'is my son gay' all sorts of things like that going through the minds of parents.

for the most part its ignorance on those peoples part, i just continue as usual, sexuality is a non effectant thing in freindships, i still would not tell anyone else, i KNOW some of my freinds and my parents especially would react badly.

its not and has never been an issue for me.

for some it is, thats why you leave things as they are the people who know are known to be ok with it.

gay people should be parents.

the parents of those people who are gay that i know are not homosexuals themselves.

[greencreeper]

Originally Posted by kronas

despite the gay parents issue being discussed before along with the rest ill add my comment.

Has it? Must have missed that thread - or it took a nose dive.

Interesting comments Kronas - ta

[downquark1]

I would have no problem with letting someone talk with a gay man, is their any difference letting a young man talk with an older woman?

I find it strange that people use the word normal when describing this issue, for me it's a simple matter of:
A percentage of people are gay, a percentage of people have always been gay, throughout history. Therefore it is normal for a percentage of people to be gay.

I don't agree with all the nannying systems, I would hope the person talking has the ability to recognise to use the block button if the conversation leads that way.

I think normal is used because of lack of a better word, not as an attack on the gay community.