More copper for your £

[Derek]

Originally Posted by papa smurf

Cash-strapped police force struggling to put bobbies on the beat gets team of top detectives on the case when thief swipes the cream cakes from their office fridge

I would ask for your expertise and guidance on how to investigate such a heinous crime but I know you don't have a clue and wouldn't answer.

[papa smurf]

Originally Posted by Derek

I would ask for your expertise and guidance on how to investigate such a heinous crime but I know you don't have a clue and wouldn't answer.

at first i thought it might be the jelly mob but then i thought what about the custard cream mob ,its clear someone's had their trotters in the trough don't you worry i will leave no scone un-turned i wont stop until the piepertrator is behind bars- tasers on stun who ever it was they must be a pretty smart cookie to get the cakes out from under so many trained noses .

[Gary L]

Originally Posted by papa smurf

at first i thought it might be the jelly mob but then i thought what about the custard cream mob ,its clear someone's had their trotters in the trough don't you worry i will leave no scone un-turned i wont stop until the piepertrator is behind bars- tasers on stun who ever it was they must be a pretty smart cookie to get the cakes out from under so many trained noses .

I feel sorry for the fattest copper.
they obviously suspected him right from the start

[papa smurf]

Originally Posted by Gary L

I feel sorry for the fattest copper.
they obviously suspected him right from the start

once i solve the case the police can celebrate with a truffle shuffle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5whaRkuipU

[Pierre]

Since they got rid of minimum heights and other requirements, some of the force is an absolute joke.

I stress, " some" .

[Gary L]

Some of them are little kids that nobody takes seriously.

and then you got all the fat ones.

[TheDaddy]

Originally Posted by Pierre

Since they got rid of minimum heights and other requirements, some of the force is an absolute joke.

I stress, " some" .

But it discriminated against certain minorities that are naturally shorter and it's a service not a force, having seen some of them in action they couldn't force anyone to do anything

[Stuart]

Sir Bernard, 57, said that the standard of the police's compulsory fitness exam - which consists of a 15 metre 'bleep test' shuttle run - is "too low".

That's from the article.

Now, what *is* the fitness exam. The paper makes it sounds like they run 15 metres then stop at the bleep. How may runs would they need? 20?30? I've done those shuttle runs and with enough reps they can be very tough. Having said that, if the paper actually said how many they did (rather than seeming to infer it is one), it would not look as damning.

[Derek]

Originally Posted by Stuart

That's from the article.

Now, what *is* the fitness exam. The paper makes it sounds like they run 15 metres then stop at the bleep. How may runs would they need? 20?30? I've done those shuttle runs and with enough reps they can be very tough. Having said that, if the paper actually said how many they did (rather than seeming to infer it is one), it would not look as damning.

Level 5.4, not much more than a light jog.

Specialist departments like firearms have higher levels.

Specialism
Recommended endurance standard (Level : Shuttle)


Marine police unit - 5:4

CBRN - 5:4

Method of entry - 5:4

Dog handler - 5:7

Mounted branch - 5:7

Police pedal cyclist - 5:8

Police support unit - 6:3

Air support – Tactical Flight Officers (TFOs) - 6:4

Police divers - 6:8

Marine police (tactical skills) - 7:2

Authorised firearms officer (AFO) - 7:6

Armed response vehicle - 9:4

Dynamic intervention AFO - 10:5

Not exactly taxing at the lower end but if they make it far higher then fitness time in working hours would probably have to get worked in somewhere.

[v0id]

Originally Posted by Gary L

Fat police can't run.

It just means they're more likely to use their tasers

[papa smurf]

Originally Posted by v0id

It just means they're more likely to use their tasers

its not just tasers when you have 56 " of utility belt to fasten the goodies on to