Thick as thieves?

[Kursk]

Originally Posted by weenie

Bungling thieves broke into an empty bank almost a year after it closed down and left with nothing[/URL]

I think it's quaint that there are still people who don't know that the banks were emptied in 2008 by people in suits.

They didn't even have the decency to run when they left .

[heero_yuy]

A MUM who went shoplifting two days after winning £250,000 on a scratchcard thought she was “invisible” after taking drugs.

Nicola Lord took tranquilliser diazepam before stealing perfume worth £514 from Boots.

The 38-year-old was out on licence from jail and has a drug issue, a court heard.

She went shoplifting to raise cash to pay rent arrears and money owed to her boyfriend.

Lord, of Blackpool, was given a 24-week suspended jail term by a local court and was ordered to pay £1,330 costs and fines. She admitted the theft in Lytham and one at M&S.

Paywall link

Alt link

High as a kite.

[Ramrod]

She went shoplifting to raise cash to pay rent arrears and money owed to her boyfriend

But......she'd just won all that money

[heero_yuy]

A dopey thief was arrested by cops after walking into a police station to complain that he was featured on a WANTED poster.

Nicholas Allegretto, 23, told officers that a CCTV image of him used on the poster and published in his local newspaper was a breach of his human rights.

He also complained that had lost his job as a result and his family had been mocked.

However roofer Allegretto was arrested by police, interviewed and charged with theft.

Ironically, the CCTV image published in the local press and social media did not even show his face.

Linky

[Osem]

They just keep getting better don't they.

[TheDaddy]

Originally Posted by heero_yuy

Linky

Not as mocked as he and they are being now

[Stuart]

A man went to a police station to collect his stolen car court documents and stole a car to get there.. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/10..._a_stolen_car/

[heero_yuy]

A man and woman stole jewelry from an art gallery, and then left the woman's name and number in the guestbook, police said.

Megan Ohara, 24, and David Ziskoski, 19, were arrested on Sunday by the Palm Beach Police Department.

Police said Ohara and Ziskowski walked into the Attila JK exhibition at the ICFA Gallery in Palm Beach Sunday and took a bracelet and a ring belonging to the exhibition's owner and artist. The artist said his jewelry was sitting on a desk in the gallery and that combined, the items cost about $6,000.

Linky

[Osem]

A burglar who filmed himself stealing a Porsche before crashing it into a wall and getting trapped in the wreckage has been jailed.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...shire-34981860

[Mick Fisher]

So there really is a God and he has a sense of humour

[TheDaddy]

Ian Carr had his head comfortably resting back and was loudly snoring on the settee when stunned householder Michael Kitchen got up for a drink in the early hours of November 3 and spotted him.

Newcastle Crown Court heard the 25-year-old student alerted housemate Matthew Thompson, 22, and the shocked pair contacted the police.

Carr, 29, who had crept in to flat in Heaton, Newcastle, through an unlocked patio, stayed there snoozing until the police arrived and woke him up.

Before he dozed off, he had packed up belongings ready to steal and was already wearing Mr Kitchen's jacket.

http://www.itv.com/news/tyne-tees/20...a-during-raid/

[Osem]

A cash-strapped university lecturer was spared jail after he admitted forging a number of art prints that he later attempted to auction off.

Sheridan Tandy, 68, of Taunton, Somerset, faked the artwork, known as ‘Grosvenor School’ prints, using his expertise and years of knowledge working in print and art.

In October last year, he sold four prints, also known as linocuts, through his local auction house, Lawrence’s of Crewkerne in Somerset, at a profit of £5,000.

However, suspicions were raised over the validity of the art in March when three linocuts received for valuation were inspected by an expert at Bonham’s Auction House.

The expert contacted Scotland Yard's Art and Antiques Unit after the linocuts appeared to be so recent they still smelt of paint.

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/un...-a3131911.html

[Ramrod]

He wasn't much of an expert then really

[tweetiepooh]

Thing is if he had signed his name on them and sold as genuine fakes I don't think there is a problem (copyright?) it's when you put the artists name and pass them of as genuine (forgery) that there is something to answer for. Good fakes can sometimes be worth good money.

I remember some TV programme a long while back that looked at professional fakers. Some would even fake one picture in the style of another artist (Mona Lisa painted by Picasso anyone?)

[heero_yuy]

BRITAIN’S worst burglar has admitted he needs a “career change” after being jailed yet again for another failed house raid.

Gerard Sanders, who once knocked himself out by hitting his head on a plant pot as he fled, was given a 40-week sentence at Liverpool crown court.

Sanders, 32, was found unconscious from the wack after jumping out of a window in 2010.

A month earlier he cut himself as he tried to escape an off-duty policeman, leaving DNA.

And in 2013 he was caught wandering the streets with electronic items from another raid.

His lawyer, Brendan Carvill, said Sanders, who was jailed for a fourth time, accepted he was “incompetent” and “needs to change his trade”.

Linky



And:

A SUSPECTED burglar who became stuck in the chimney of a California home died of burns and smoke inhalation after the home's owner lit a fire in the fireplace.

The Fresno County Sheriff's Office identified the deceased suspect as 19-year-old Cody Caldwell, who was pronounced dead at the scene, reports FoxNews.com.

Investigators believe Caldwell climbed in the chimney to rob the home in the small city of Huron but became stuck. He was in the chimney for almost 24 hours by the time the male homeowner came home and lit the fire just before 3 p.m. Saturday.

Linky