clipping round the ear - Page 4

Sirius · 17-03-2011, 10:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by dave6x

This is what happened to a 15 year old in my local police station recently. Be interesting to see the outcome of the investigation!!!!
http://www.andoveradvertiser.co.uk/n...olice_station/

Yea but a clip around the ear did not turn me into a raving homicidal lunatic like the anti slap brigade would make you think.

That Bobby did that instead of taking me down the nick and spending hours filling out forms just because me and my m8 nicked an inner tube from the scrap yard for when we went swimming in the canal. He also made us apologise to the owner of the scarp yard who then gave us an old inner tuber and said go have some fun and just ask next time.

papa smurf · 17-03-2011, 18:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris

I have to say, I'll be a bit worried if my kids are asking my approval for major decisions by the time they're in their 20s. I would hope I'm not domineering over them such that they don't feel able to grow up and be who they want to be. Nor would I consider their looking for my approval to be a mark of respect. Rather I'd be worried that I had failed to teach them to be responsible for themselves.

Advice, on the other hand, well that would say "respect" to me.

i bow to your many many many years of parenting experience ,how could i have got it so wrong ,if only you where there to advise me ,but you were probably only a child yourself 23 years ago .

**Chris** · 17-03-2011, 18:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by papa smurf

i bow to your many many many years of parenting experience ,how could i have got it so wrong ,if only you where there to advise me ,but you were probably only a child yourself 23 years ago .

Mmm. So the best response you have is to claim that because you did it before I did, you must have done it better than I did? Great. That makes a lot of sense. Not. Or perhaps you think it's your right as an older person for us mere children to have your approval before we do anything really serious and drastic like living our own lives?

I'll stick to my own methods, I think, and aim to introduce adults to the world who aren't paralysed by worry over what I'll think of them as they confront life's big decisions.

Caff · 17-03-2011, 18:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris

I have to say, I'll be a bit worried if my kids are asking my approval for major decisions by the time they're in their 20s. I would hope I'm not domineering over them such that they don't feel able to grow up and be who they want to be. Nor would I consider their looking for my approval to be a mark of respect. Rather I'd be worried that I had failed to teach them to be responsible for themselves.

Advice, on the other hand, well that would say "respect" to me.

A very gentle comment from me:
I wholeheartedly agree that parenting goes on until the little 'un's are no longer little and can run on their own feet because you did your job well.
But sometimes - if they come back for some more support then something is really going astray and they would like advice and/or a pair of arms. Sometimes life can still get too tough for them all by themselves. Judging how to deal with that is the toughie.
Being asked for advice is a huge pat on the back for me too

Flyboy · 18-03-2011, 02:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gary L

When little Johnny pushes his little sister into the road and a big bus slams on his brakes and just about avoids killing her?

Naughty Johnny. naughty step for you when we get home.

I don't see your point. What does more violence reinforce? Maybe next time he will push harder; better to be hanged for a sheep than a lamb.

---------- Post added at 01:21 ---------- Previous post was at 01:18 ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caff

I remember crying my eyes out over the side of my bed and seeing an all-5-digits red thing well up on my thigh. And then had to go to church.
Can't for the life of me remember what I'd done to deserve it. But I never forgot it.

There are sometimes better ways to 'get your point over'. But... can't disagree with the notion of : if a PC ticks you off then your parents proabably should do too. To me it seems thay were doing the 'parenting' for you.

But it seems you did, which is kind of the point. You remember the punishment more than the crime. If you can't remember why you were being punished, you are more likely to repeat it.

---------- Post added at 01:25 ---------- Previous post was at 01:21 ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maggy J

But that is your opinion and is not necessarily everyone else's.It is not in actual fact a crime to physically punish a child.It is a crime to beat a child but not to smack.Whilst your opinion is valid for you it is by no means valid for all.

Personally I think it would be nice if parents were on the whole allowed (within the rules we do have) to punish their children as they see fit without Uncle Tom Cobley and all, wagging a finger at them in disagreement.

Parents are either in trouble because they don't punish enough OR they punish too much.They are damned if they do,damned if they don't.

But, judging by the report in the OP, this was more than just a smack.

Caff · 18-03-2011, 08:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flyboy

I don't see your point. What does more violence reinforce? Maybe next time he will push harder; better to be hanged for a sheep than a lamb.

---------- Post added at 01:21 ---------- Previous post was at 01:18 ----------

But it seems you did, which is kind of the point. You remember the punishment more than the crime. If you can't remember why you were being punished, you are more likely to repeat it.

---------- Post added at 01:25 ---------- Previous post was at 01:21 ----------

But, judging by the report in the OP, this was more than just a smack.

I suspect you are quite correct.
Knowing me, I had probably spoken my mind - 'answered back'. And I still re-offend.

Gary L · 18-03-2011, 09:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flyboy

I don't see your point. What does more violence reinforce? Maybe next time he will push harder; better to be hanged for a sheep than a lamb.

Maybe he already was pushing her harder than he usually does into the road. eventually the naughty step will take effect, and he'll stop doing it and she gets to live?

**Maggy** · 18-03-2011, 10:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flyboy

But, judging by the report in the OP, this was more than just a smack.

I'm sure it was and the police had no other choice.

What I object to is people like you who want to interfere and wag the finger at parents who choose to smack.What you do with your children as punishment is your business.What other parents do that is within the law is not yours.

I've stated my opinion and I'm saying no more.