Need Advice - Page 4

punky · 30-07-2005, 16:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incognitas

But this is the new CONFIDENT you.You are bound to pull if you feel and look as good as you can because it gives you a confident air and I can assure you that women respond to that.Mind you have to watch not appearing too c*cky.Balance is all.

TBH though, I am not any more confident now than before. I am more optimistic but unless I can back that up with some results, i'd be as jaded as ever.

You are absolutely spot on with the confidence angle though. Every guy should never underestimate its importance. My two brothers never failed to get women, and while one is literally God's gift to women, the other, bless him, isn't as much so. They both say the same thing: confidence wins the girl.

It will only get people so far though. Most girls I have spoken to about this (and it has been quite a few since I started growing mine at 18) have said that beards tickle, and irritate the skin. Being confident doesn't supercede any irritations girls have about beards.

For more minor problems though, yeah it would.

Angua · 30-07-2005, 16:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by punky

A noble sentiment but unfortunately that doesn't get very far in the today's meat market known as dating. Being myself is why I have been single for nigh on 2 years.

Compromising your principals is common sense here. 10% or less of single available women (generous estimate, I think) probably like, or even could tolerate beards. You are much better taking your medicine, shaving and chasing the 90%

Hence the new and improved me. I am losing weight, but smartening up. The shaggy beard is going, in favour of a trimmed one or no beard at all (see forth coming thread), and I am now buying shirts and smart tops, rather than just wearing newer t-shirts for more formal occaisons. The chances of finding a girl doing everything my own way is very unlikely, I am going to have to meet her some of the way too. Girls probably don't like doing half the stuff they do to get men, but they do. Fair's fair.

Whatever you do make sure it's for you and because it will make you feel better about yourself (a very attractive trait). You can guarantee the folks you are trying to attract will be more receptive if you are not trying. ie you will meet the right person when you are p*$$ed as a newt out with your mates (I met my other half that way and it will be our 16th anniversary next month).

punky · 30-07-2005, 16:21

God, now I am bloody confused as to what to do. It was all going well this morning!

**Maggy** · 30-07-2005, 16:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by punky

God, now I am bloody confused as to what to do. It was all going well this morning!

You are doing ok..

At least you are giving it a go and haven't just given up.

Angua · 30-07-2005, 16:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by punky

God, now I am bloody confused as to what to do. It was all going well this morning!

Slobbing around is not "self respect". Making an effort is and it's that effort and "self respect" that is attractive.

Jules · 30-07-2005, 16:32

An important thing is also that if you give off the air of desperation it can be very off putting that is why people that have a partner suddenly find they are more attractive to people

30-07-2005, 16:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by punky

God, now I am bloody confused as to what to do. It was all going well this morning!

I think if you want to have a bit of a 'makeover', that you do it for you, not because you think it makes you more attractive to others.

- you could always compromise, 2 out of 3, how about stick with eating carefully & exercising, trim the face fungus, but save money by not buying new clothes

**Maggy** · 30-07-2005, 16:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by homealone

I think if you want to have a bit of a 'makeover', that you do it for you, not because you think it makes you more attractive to others.

- you could always compromise, 2 out of 3, how about stick with eating carefully & exercising, trim the face fungus, but save money by not buying new clothes

Ah but if he loses enough weight he may just need a new wardrobe..Maybe he can get a female friend to help him pick it out?

makikomi · 30-07-2005, 16:49

Shave, definitely.

punky · 30-07-2005, 16:55

Thanx for the advice guys... (Sorry to hijack your thread Richard)

Don't get me wrong, I am not desperate per se, but after all this time, i'd like to be dating rather than single. If I am 35 and still having this conversation, then i'll be desperate.

I think you guys are right, I might be going a bit overkill on increasing my chances for aiming to be a non-footballing Beckham

So tough what to do, so many different options, opinions...

ellie · 31-07-2005, 00:15

Gav, you are a sweet, caring, trustworthy, funny, cute, cool guy ...Just be you (The you that you are happy and confident with) and the girl for you will find you

...Dont settle for second best

..But have fun finding her

makikomi · 31-07-2005, 00:20

The best pieces of advice I've heard are:

"Don't look for the right person, BE the the right person."

But that has to be paired up with... "BE YOURSELF."

So maybe that means you should make the effort to spruce yourself up, be a more interesting person to know, brush up on social skills, but stay true to who you are.