Bullying

Originally Posted by Chrysalis

as I said in the other thread he needs to do it himself.

Official advice is to get the school to deal with it but that wont work. I wonder if people advise that have ever been bullied.

From what you say its already at the stage where there is more then 1 bully and at least 3 or 4, so he needs to do something soon.

I suggest like the others to take up martial arts, that itself may be a detterant but if not enough he needs to rough one of them up, this should deter the others onto some other poor victim. Its a case of no pain no gain I am afraid and no more cotton wool for him.

Frankly after the death earleir this month of a 15 year old stabbed to death in school trying to stop a fight, taking matters further like this might be dangerous.I agree that martial arts do give a child self esteem and confidence but I feel that children trying to sort things out for themselves are fraught with dangers.However that being said adults are not always able to understand the desperation that a bully victim feels.

Punky (I wonder where he is?) feels that getting the police involved should be the major step..maybe he's right in view of how many children are now arming themselves with knives.

[banjo]

Have a look at this site, http://www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/index.htm
This bullying has got to be stopped !!!

[Chrysalis]

I think my nephew is been bullied the signs are there, cant remember his age but he is around 10 I think. So has many years of it to go unless he escapes it somehow. The thing about bullying it has a knock on affect in your adult life when you leave school with no confidence and not having confidence to enter relationships.

I was once locked in an, aptly named, locker, and was punished, due to my absence from a meeting.

Telling on who did it was not an option, but twatting him on the chin, later, helped

[lilacsocks]

Hiya

I was bullied for years in primary school, and I was constantly told by my family (parents and all older siblings) to 'stick up for myself', problem with this advice is that If I could have stuck up for myself, I wouldnt have been bullied in the first place so this advice just made me feel even more worthless.
I believe I was bullied because 1. I was incredibly shy and had zero confidence, 2. I went to school stinking of parents ciggy smoke 3. I was scruffy, I wore old knitted jumpers and same skirts/shirts all week. 4. It was a rough school in a rough council estate.
I was too shy to join clubs, and I certainly had no encouragement from anyone to do so, goodness knows how I got through it. Finally a rare friend told my teacher, who put a stop to it straightaway. (my bullies always warned me not to tell anyone - and I didnt) My parents never spoke to school or parents, even when a girl close by scratched her nails down my cheeks and left me bleeding and screaming in the street! My siblings were all leading their own lives.
I think the karate Idea, is fab, as long as your brother will do it, If the bullies know about it, that might be enough. It sounds like your giving him all the encouragement he needs. I cant give advice about contacting schools, etc but just knowing he has a brother who at least listens and cares must mean so much to him.
Do you know of anyone who has younger brothers, who are quite tough? who could warn these bullies off?
Good luck, and Hugs to your brother

[akane1984]

again thanks alot for everyones comments. off late we have noticed in house too that my brother does go out into streets much mainly because that kid round corner and his dumbass mates probably annoy my bro instreets and really there isnt anyone of his age to play with there are kids up street but they are young and when my brother plays with them he must feel out of place as he is giant compared to them.

i said to him about filling in bully diary but he wont do it. i even said if he would just do it for me and hand it in to me end of week and i wouldnt show it to anyone i just wanna see on paper what hes going through.

[etccarmageddon]

bullies are ****, I know they do it for a reason - possibily because their parents bully them but if there's anyone I feel unconditional hate for it's bullies.

---------- Post added at 10:35 ---------- Previous post was at 10:18 ----------

I read the bio for one of the gits I went to school with at friends reunited and it said how he worked in the media and his boss treated him like dirt - his bio sounded like he was a very unhappy person - this was an obnoxious lad who played sports and was once of the class verbal bullying team - he probably wouldnt even accept he'd been a bully at school if I met him tomorrow.

This lad helped other people bully me at school because he was part of a group of lads who would shout me down if I ever spoke in a leason - even when the teacher was in the class. Even one of the teachers did the same thing once - in front of the whole class took the pee out of my voice. I had an exceptionally deep voice at school. I was also struggling to put on any weight and was in the region of 6-8 stone. There was no option to stick up for yourself as bullys never work alone. Bullying is a team event about taking pleasure out of being cruel and proping up your own self worth by reducing someone elses self esteme.

Our head teacher even made it into the news of the world for a fight with his girlfriend and this was a supposedly posh grammar school.

There was one of a few decent lads at school who I remember once I walked into a new class in a room of unfriendly faces - I was the last person to enter this new class so had to find a seat, he was someone I hardly knew and had a spare seat next to him - he said come and sit next to me and my name.

That lads bio on friends reunited now says he's a school headmaster down south. His bio sounded very happy.

So it's nice to see they both ended up with their just deserts.