18-05-2007, 09:59
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#241
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cf.mega poster
Join Date: Jun 2003
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Posts: 37,171
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Re: Toddler 'abducted' during holiday
The whole "what were they doing leaving her alone" angle just seems too judgemental to me.
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18-05-2007, 10:01
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#242
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Inactive
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,291
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Re: Toddler 'abducted' during holiday
Quote:
Originally Posted by Russ B
The whole "what were they doing leaving her alone" angle just seems too judgemental to me.
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But its a major contibutor to her being abducted in the circumstances. They have taken no precautions whatsoever regarding the safety of 3 under 4 year olds whether there was a risk of abduction or not.
YOU JUST DO NOT LEAVE UNDER 4s IN AN APARTMENT ALONE WHILE YOU HAVE DINNER 100 YARDS AWAY!
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18-05-2007, 10:04
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#243
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Inactive
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Hampshire
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Posts: 5,684
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Re: Toddler 'abducted' during holiday
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saaf_laandon_mo
<snippety snip>
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Agreed mo. I feel for them (the parents), I really do. If they find the sicko that's got the girl, I'd gladly volunteer to be locked in a room with him/her for 10 minutes to show them the error of their ways. But to leave 3 under 4's by themselves in a seperate building is inexcusable, and the responsibility (not blame as such) lays with the parents IMO. If they hadn't left the kiddies alone, it wouldn't have happened, end of. Why didn't they just pop the kids in some strollers and take them to dinner with them?
---------- Post added at 10:04 ---------- Previous post was at 10:02 ----------
Quote:
Originally Posted by Russ B
The whole "what were they doing leaving her alone" angle just seems too judgemental to me.
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Russ, you're a father. Would you leave Alyssya (sorry if that's incorrect sp?!) by herself for that long. Would you leave her in your house just while you popped to the shops for half an hour? As a stepmother to three, the youngest being 8 this year, I wouldn't do it.
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18-05-2007, 10:11
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#244
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Re: Toddler 'abducted' during holiday
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangebird
Russ, you're a father. Would you leave Alyssya (sorry if that's incorrect sp?!) by herself for that long. Would you leave her in your house just while you popped to the shops for half an hour? As a stepmother to three, the youngest being 8 this year, I wouldn't do it.
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I certainly am not judging them. After all, regardless of whether they made a mistake or not, they are being punished enough without me judging them for it.
But, I would also like to say that while I am not a father, some of my friends and family are, and I am pretty sure that no one I know would leave their youg kids in a strange hotel room on their own for 30 minutes.
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18-05-2007, 10:11
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#245
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cf.mega poster
Join Date: Jun 2003
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Re: Toddler 'abducted' during holiday
I'm not disputing that leaving a child unattended like that is foolish!
However if I was ever careless enough to do something like that, I'd imagine being constantly told I was stupid would probably push me over the edge. As is, I imagine the parents' state of mind to be extremely fragile. If we are going to play the blame game, let's at least wait until we've had an outcome, good or bad.
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18-05-2007, 10:17
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#246
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Inactive
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Re: Toddler 'abducted' during holiday
Quote:
Originally Posted by Russ B
I'm not disputing that leaving a child unattended like that is foolish!
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I didn't think you were
Quote:
However if I was ever careless enough to do something like that, I'd imagine being constantly told I was stupid would probably push me over the edge. As is, I imagine the parents' state of mind to be extremely fragile. If we are going to play the blame game, let's at least wait until we've had an outcome, good or bad.
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They weren't careless Russ. They made a choice. A stupid one. And whilst I agree with your most of your post, I for one am not 'blaming' anyone. But it's difficult not to think that if they hadn't made such a monumentally stupid selfish decision (which it was) to leave their children by themselves, it wouldn't have happened. And that's not 'judging' either. It kind of fact. IMO anyway.
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18-05-2007, 10:23
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#247
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Cable Forum Team
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 15,134
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Re: Toddler 'abducted' during holiday
Quote:
Originally Posted by zinglebarb
Im sorry but as of late ive had the impression its "Do as we say or else" ive tried to discuss how I feel and have just been blocked
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No you haven't been blocked at all, what was said when this thread kicked off, was that IMO, it was certainly out of order (This is an expression of my view as a person, not an ADMIN and that is the total difference here) that some people were too quick be judge, jury and the executioner, without actually knowing all the facts at the time. Some people were just reacting on a 'whim' to the media reports.
A lot of blame, rather than compassion and much needed sensitivity, was and still is, it seems, being put on Maddies parents. Talk about kicking someone, when they are already down.
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18-05-2007, 10:23
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#248
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Permanently Banned
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 564
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Re: Toddler 'abducted' during holiday
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saaf_laandon_mo
But its a major contibutor to her being abducted in the circumstances. They have taken no precautions whatsoever regarding the safety of 3 under 4 year olds whether there was a risk of abduction or not.
YOU JUST DO NOT LEAVE UNDER 4s IN AN APARTMENT ALONE WHILE YOU HAVE DINNER 100 YARDS AWAY!
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agree, i hope parents face PROSECUTION it is THERE FAULT this little girl was abducted !
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18-05-2007, 10:24
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#249
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Inactive
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,291
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Re: Toddler 'abducted' during holiday
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangebird
I didn't think you were
They weren't careless Russ. They made a choice. A stupid one. And whilst I agree with your most of your post, I for one am not 'blaming' anyone. But it's difficult not to think that if they hadn't made such a monumentally stupid selfish decision (which it was) to leave their children by themselves, it wouldn't have happened. And that's not 'judging' either. It kind of fact. IMO anyway.
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I can understand that when its put like "if they hadnt left MAddie alone she would not have been snatched" it does sound like people are apportioning total blame on this for the parents.
I dont blame the parents for Maddie being snatched, it wasnt their fault that someone decides to snatch their kid. I do blame them for putting Maddie (and their other kids) in a position which allowed this to happen. There is a subtle difference, but a difference nevertheless.
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18-05-2007, 10:25
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#250
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Permanently Banned
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 564
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Re: Toddler 'abducted' during holiday
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mick
No you haven't been blocked at all, what was said when this thread kicked off, was that IMO, it was certainly out of order (This is an expression of my view as a person, not an ADMIN and that is the total difference here) that some people were too quick be judge, jury and the executioner, without actually knowing all the facts at the time. Some people were just reacting on a 'whim' to the media reports.
A lot of blame, rather than compassion and much needed sensitivity, was and still is, it seems, being put on Maddies parents.
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would you leave your 4yo kid ALONE when you went OUT FOR DINNER ? probly not (well i bloody hope not) the parents deserve all the blaim they get, i realy hope they are prosecuted (i bet portugese law will have them for neglect or sumthing similar, wich they FULLY deserve)
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18-05-2007, 10:29
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#251
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Inactive
Join Date: Jun 2003
Age: 44
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Re: Toddler 'abducted' during holiday
*dons flame-proof jacket*
I don't think there is a person here who's first thought wasn't to feel for the parents, but I think its a natural reaction after the initial OMG-reaction, to think, "how could this happen?" Its not judgemental, its curiousity.
The grandmother who lost her grandchild because of her negligence of owning a dangerous dog, and failing to secure it was shown absolutely no compassion by the public or the law. The fact she lost her grandchild did nothing to engender sympathy. The question of whether Madeleine lost her life due to her parents' own negligence will have to be answered eventually. As adults we all, Maddy's parents included, have to be held accountable for our mistakes, regardless of whether they are grieving or not.
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18-05-2007, 10:31
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#252
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cf.mega poser
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 16,687
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Re: Toddler 'abducted' during holiday
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mick
No you haven't been blocked at all, what was said when this thread kicked off, was that IMO, it was certainly out of order (This is an expression of my view as a person, not an ADMIN and that is the total difference here) that some people were too quick be judge, jury and the executioner, without actually knowing all the facts at the time. Some people were just reacting on a 'whim' to the media reports.
A lot of blame, rather than compassion and much needed sensitivity, was and still is, it seems, being put on Maddies parents. Talk about kicking someone, when they are already down. 
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TBH Mick, it didn't come across that way.
http://www.cableforum.co.uk/board/34295071-post39.html
Quote:
The arguments about whose to blame will stop right now. I have never read such a pathetic and such judgemental thread before in all my life.
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Nothing there about that being your personal opinion. I find it quite easy to see how that could be interpreted as an order or admin decision.
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18-05-2007, 10:31
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#253
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Inactive
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Hampshire
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Posts: 5,684
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Re: Toddler 'abducted' during holiday
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saaf_laandon_mo
I can understand that when its put like "if they hadnt left MAddie alone she would not have been snatched" it does sound like people are apportioning total blame on this for the parents.
I dont blame the parents for Maddie being snatched, it wasnt their fault that someone decides to snatch their kid. I do blame them for putting Maddie (and their other kids) in a position which allowed this to happen. There is a subtle difference, but a difference nevertheless.
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18-05-2007, 10:32
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#254
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Inactive
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,291
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Re: Toddler 'abducted' during holiday
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mick
No you haven't been blocked at all, what was said when this thread kicked off, was that IMO, it was certainly out of order (This is an expression of my view as a person, not an ADMIN and that is the total difference here) that some people were too quick be judge, jury and the executioner, without actually knowing all the facts at the time. Some people were just reacting on a 'whim' to the media reports.
A lot of blame, rather than compassion and much needed sensitivity, was and still is, it seems, being put on Maddies parents. Talk about kicking someone, when they are already down. 
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I don't think the media were acting on a whim when they reported the circumstances in which Maddie was abducted. It was clear from day 1 that whe was snatched whilst being in an apartment alone, while her parents were out wining and dining. Those are the facts presented on day 1 and if anything has changed since its the fact that they might have not been checking up on her every 30 mins as originally reported, but in fact the gaps were much further apart.
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18-05-2007, 10:32
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#255
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Cable Forum Team
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 15,134
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Re: Toddler 'abducted' during holiday
Quote:
Originally Posted by Locky
would you leave your 4yo kid ALONE when you went OUT FOR DINNER ? probly not (well i bloody hope not) the parents deserve all the blaim they get
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Kindly stop shouting at me please, I am not DEAF.
Stop throwing the same old tedious and highly insensitive argument across about what I or others would do in similar circumstances, we know what we wouldn't do but its too late to start going over what you or I would do. In the current climate, its very much irrelevant. Maddie is missing, the parents are going through hell and no they certainly do not deserve this, what a ridiculous and outright stupid thing to say.
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