Relationships and religion

I always thought that Christians were taught to wait until marriage before having sex with anyone or is this an old fashioned idea?

Originally Posted by dieselking

I always thought that Christians were taught to wait until marriage before having sex with anyone or is this an old fashioned idea?

It's very much encouraged to remain a virgin until you're married among the evangelical churches. In the bigger, more liberal denominations there's not a lot made of it.

Me and Mrs Towny both waited! (And we're glad we did).

[Bifta]

Something confuses me, how does one get into a particular brand of religion, e.g. how did it work out for the christians on here? I take it you didn't wake up one day and think, today Matthew, I'm going to be born again! I did have another question about it but I'll wait and see what replies I get to this as it might be completely irrelevant.

[Russ]

Originally Posted by Tiptoes

And another typical christian contradiction of its principles............

That the happiness of the many outweigh that of the dreadful deaths of the unhappy bullied few.....

so let me ask yopu Russ....


Are you saying that the millions of happy children should have the headline news? or

are you saying that there is so much good in the church we should ignore the problems of the few?

if not what is it exactly your saying with the above statement?

because if it was a cynical ploy it didnt work that well im afraid all it does for me is reinforce my veiw....

Oh don't be so silly, that's NOT what I'm saying at all!


When people say what they distrust about religion and the church, the subject of abuse (physical and sexual) often comes up. Many people seem to be under the impression that it's quite common, my view is it doesn't happen any more in the church than in any other section of society, it just seems that way. My example was saying yes you remember the incidents when people within the church have abused their positions but all the good that the church does just doesn't get reported. This is not meant to belittle the situations the victims are in, I'm just explaining that many people's view of Christianity, Catholicism, CoE etc stems from minority situations.

I always thought that Christians were taught to wait until marriage before having sex with anyone or is this an old fashioned idea?

Yes we are, but I was tempted and didn't exersise enough restrain into the situation I had placed myself.

Something confuses me, how does one get into a particular brand of religion, e.g. how did it work out for the christians on here? I take it you didn't wake up one day and think, today Matthew, I'm going to be born again! I did have another question about it but I'll wait and see what replies I get to this as it might be completely irrelevant.

I was a Catholic until I was 18, I left as I felt it had no relevance for me but I continued to believe in and (to a point) respect God. I always knew I'd go back to Him and about 2 years ago I met a student nurse who was born again, we got together and I saw what she was in to and it felt right, very comfortable, so I decided the time was right to return.

[Bifta]

Originally Posted by Russ D

I was a Catholic until I was 18, I left as I felt it had no relevance for me but I continued to believe in and (to a point) respect God. I always knew I'd go back to Him and about 2 years ago I met a student nurse who was born again, we got together and I saw what she was in to and it felt right, very comfortable, so I decided the time was right to return.

Ok, so if the person doesn't find that particular thing comfortable or right, is that them condemned? Each religion think's they're the right one ...

[Xaccers]

Originally Posted by Bifta

Ok, so if the person doesn't find that particular thing comfortable or right, is that them condemned? Each religion think's they're the right one ...

My imaginary friend is more comfortable than your imaginary friend? (sorry I just couldn't resist, I blame the prozac, and it has been a looong day)

[Russ]

Originally Posted by Bifta

Ok, so if the person doesn't find that particular thing comfortable or right, is that them condemned? Each religion think's they're the right one ...

No, remember I'm just talking from my own experience.

[Xaccers]

Originally Posted by Bifta

Ok, so if the person doesn't find that particular thing comfortable or right, is that them condemned? Each religion think's they're the right one ...

Actually I think a more acurate line would be: Each person thinks they've found the right religion

If you went to most churches for instance, you'd have people all claiming to be the same right religion, but some would accept an unmarried couple with kids, some wouldn't.
Religion is personal after all.

[Bex]

Originally Posted by Bifta

Something confuses me, how does one get into a particular brand of religion, e.g. how did it work out for the christians on here? I take it you didn't wake up one day and think, today Matthew, I'm going to be born again! I did have another question about it but I'll wait and see what replies I get to this as it might be completely irrelevant.

my story, in a nutshell, is that i was bought up church of england, went to a c of e primary school.....but stopped going to church because i (like russ) didn't feel that it was relevant in my life....the church was full of old people and was frankly boring........about 7years ago (can't believe it has been that long, makes me feel old) i began going to the school's christian union....went off to uni and again moved away from it all.........then nearly 3years ago......i was going out (and later got engaged to) a lad who was a christian......he took me to a social event in a pub for his church and i became a born-again christian...the church was a completely different type of church and i therefore felt that it was more relevant to my life

as for the sex before marriage thing, yeah it isn't advisable from a christian point of view, but it is like every other sin, we get tempted too

[Salu]

Originally Posted by Tiptoes

Well to address your observations,

1).

Nope I was brought up a Methodist, I went to Sunday school, said my prayers before tea and all that. The difference being I have just grown up and learned from my own personal experiences what else is one supposed to base their opnions on? A book written from thousands of years ago?

to give you some understand or remote comprehension I cite a taster of my experience of the Christian faith shall Iâ₠¬ÃƒÆ’‚¦Ã¢âà¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡Ã‚¬Ã‚¦..

Only a few months ago watched an opera of a Christian marriage between a vicars daughter (Lovely Girl) and a friend take place. This marriage was not about love and all the attributes of Christian principles, it was where two people have been forced together as one with one of thse persons being none to happy but going ahead with the marriage because "he didnâ₠¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t want to upset the family" and thought it the right and proper thing to do... poor thing.

Now this is where I get off the religious bandwagon when it interferes with people lives and forces them into situations that they donââ‚Âà ‚¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚¢t really want to be in, but do so just because other people feel it right and proper.

I can also speak from personal experience...................

For many years I was unmarried and the pressure to get married was immense from all directions family, friends and the church...itr was almost like we had a disease of some sortâ₠¬Ã‚¦Ã¢â ‚¬Â¦. The vicar of our local school where one of my children went tool a instant disliking to my family because we were an "unmarried couple"........ The truth of the matter is our son was being bullied so much so he was coming home in Bites Bruises and wetting the bed each night... We knew nothing of this until the Doctor suggested he was being bullied at school when we took him to find the problem causing the bedwetting.

What did the head teacher & vicar (Cannon) say of the church school say?

Bullying doesnââ‚ƚ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t happen in Church schools....Really?

Well guess what when he was Cannon (Vicar) not only did we have to remove our child from the school to stop the bullying but two children hung themselves in the secondary school he was head of... Oh yes all shoved under the carpet.......even though our repeated requests for help fell on deaf ears....

The school tried to cover up their mistakes and we kept evidence of this cover up (Changed letters) which we eventually sent to the then education minister. Needless to say two weeks after we removed our child from the school after he was threatened to be set alight the head teacher from the school after 25/30 years service mysteriously "Retired"

Shortly after that our second child at the same school was bullied by her teacher... accused of stealing a pencil of a desk.... My daughter went short of nothing at school and had umpteen pencil in her case.. It was all a ploy to attack our family any way possible... We ended up removing her from the school as well because she was too frightened of the teacher.....

So am I cynical for not having faith in the Christian faith....

I have similar issues around other faiths such like I do not agree with Muslim arranged marriages but thatâ₠¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s another story and personal opinion.

we make and form these opinions on our personal experiences in life and unfortunately I have had some very bad ones whre religion is concerned and why I formed such strong views. You may have been luckier....


2) You are permitted to say whatever you want provided it is within the rules of this board I supposeââ‚à ‚¬Ã‚¦.

As far as my nickname is concerned it isnââ‚Âà ‚¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚¢t relevant to anything I say or do it is just a nickname from someone who is very special and close to meââ‚ ¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¦ and My private affairââ‚Ã⠀šÃ‚¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¦. Trouble is your reading into something that isnââ‚Âà ‚¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚¢t thereââ‚ƚ¬Ã‚¦Ã¢à¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡Ã‚¬Ã‚¦. Your mistake not mineââ‚ ¬Ã‚¦..........

If you would permit me to say.

I think that you have made the mistake of dismissing God because of bad human behaviour. Its true that Christians should try to be ambassadors of God in their behaviour but this is not always the case. Sometimes it can be gross "sin" like your son's headmaster or sometimes just a bad thought or sometimes, like Russ, a succumbing to temptation but it becomes more "public". All wrong in God's eyes but MORE wrong to our culture/society.

I really would implore you to cast your mind back to your church days and look for the good, not the restrictive or nastiness you have come across and draw on that as you ask God to show you what He wants for your life.

I'm not turning up the "Convert you" dial...just a genuine challenge to seek God.

....My mind boggles at the thought of your private affair that led you to call that person Tiptoes....

[Tiptoes]

I havent dismissed G-d,

I just dont follow the Christian version of events.

Neither from my experience do I trust, entertain or agree with people who use their religious beliefs as a tool to gain my trust or respect or promote their own agenda.

It is as simple as that really

[Tiptoes]

I picked this letter up from the telegraph....

Beside the other issues I have witht he christian faith is it any wonder when the representatives of the church itself are abandoning their own........


Re: A question of Christmas

Date: 28 November 2003

Sir - Further to reports that the Red Cross is not to show any Christian symbols on its cards this year in order to avoid offending members of other faiths, may I point out the obvious: without Christianity, there is no Christmas.

Furthermore, before organisations make these crass decisions, why do they not canvass the opinions of non-fanatic members of other faiths? They will find that no objections are forthcoming.

A Hindu friend tells me that non-Christians are losing the respect they had for Christians because we are progressively abandoning much of the basis of our faith in the mistaken belief that this will make it easier to identify with our non-Christian neighbours.

From:
Charles Stone, Rugeley, Staffs

[Russ]

To be fair, you have been giving examples of minority situations as reasons to not agree with/trust Christianity (you are of course free to disagree with my faith for any reason you choose).

It would be naive (and patronising) of me to try and get across the idea that once a person has Christianity in their life that they suddenly become better and the world somehow improves, this is not the case. I'm sure that when someone gives their life to Big J, they gain a new perspective on life, but it's how they use this perspective that matters. Indeed there are plenty of people who have done more harm than good with Christianity however I stand by what I say about them being in the minority. Of course this doesn't make their issues any less relevant, but it's something I think people should bear in mind when making up their own minds.

[Tiptoes]

Originally Posted by Russ D

Indeed there are plenty of people who have done more harm than good with Christianity however I stand by what I say about them being in the minority.

Those "plenty" of people who you say are in a minority who you agree to have done "more harm than good".. to the majority as a result of the beliefs...

Millions of people have died as a result of the "Minority" promoting and persecuting their beliefs

It is this I disagree with not the faith itself.

[Xaccers]

The Red Cross is an interesting one, many people mistakenly assume it's a christian organisation because of the cross.
In fact the red cross is simply the Swiss flag with it's colours inverted, symbolising impartiality.
However, because of this misinterpritation of the cross, the islamic Red Cresent was created.
Of course the red cross does attract many christians (and there's nothing wrong with that) which adds to the view that it is a christmas organisation.