Help for those with little or no understanding of hidden disabilities. - Page 2

Jaymoss · 06-08-2021, 15:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul

Ummm ...

You find it odd that people question a 'hidden' disability

You do know the meaning of hidden, right ?

Ideally people would either ignore someone say for example walking out of a disabled toilet or parking in a disabled zone, but if they cannot ignore maybe ask first why the person is using it instead of shouting and ranting etc. I know that is asking too much for people to have a degree of politeness in this day and age though

Sephiroth · 06-08-2021, 15:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1andrew1

I'm genuinely not - he makes multiple points and I'm not a mind-reader.

OK, I'll spell it out though I don't believe for a moment that you (and others) don't know what I mean, almost to the point of disingenuousness on your and their parts.

RC's first sentence sets the scene which, I think, comes from his personal situation. RC might correct me if I'm wrong.

Quote:

I saw this interesting current affairs programme last night and thought it would be helpful & useful for those who find it hard to come to terms with the fact that some people have hidden disabilities.

RC's second and third sentences, to me at least, imparts a degree of hurt that he feels as a member of the Forum and some of the harsh remarks he has to endure.

Quote:

It's important to educate and inform those who don't believe that such a thing exists or that people are using their conditions as excuses for various things.

It's hard to believe, but some people have actually been made out to be liars or had their disability challenged!

That some of you couldn't take RC's remarks at face value does you no credit.

peanut · 06-08-2021, 16:01

Well I don't find it hard to come to terms with people that have hidden disabilities. Hidden disabilities is not a new thing but people's attitudes seems to have gotten worse.

What I do have a gripe with is those with disabilities hidden or not that have a sense of entitlement and go to great lengths just to make a point.

It's not the fact that others might not believe him, more of how often he brings it up and makes an issue of it instead of just moving on. Should we make allowances or treat him differently if he can't accept things on a forum?

Jaymoss · 06-08-2021, 16:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by peanut

Well I don't find it hard to come to terms with people that have hidden disabilities. Hidden disabilities is not a new thing but people's attitudes seems to have gotten worse.

What I do have a gripe with is those with disabilities hidden or not that have a sense of entitlement and go to great lengths just to make a point.

It's not the fact that others might not believe him, more of how often he brings it up and makes an issue of it instead of just moving on. Should we make allowances or treat him differently if he can't accept things on a forum?

Have you ever thought he might respond the way he does due to his hidden disability or are you happy to judge him anyway ???

You telling him to move on is like someone telling a depressed person to pull themselves together

peanut · 06-08-2021, 16:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaymoss

Have you ever thought he might respond the way he does due to his hidden disability or are you happy to judge him anyway ???

You telling him to move on is like someone telling a depressed person to pull themselves together

That is a leap. Move on meaning instead of making a rod for your own back.

As for judging, I take him as face value like everyone else. Wind your neck in, lol.

Sephiroth · 06-08-2021, 16:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by peanut

That is a leap. Move on meaning instead of making a rod for your own back.

As for judging, I take him as face value like everyone else. Wind your neck in, lol.

Always make allowances, especially when the need is brought to your attention. "Wind your neck in" when Jaymoss is making a point about tolerance and understanding proves my point about you and some others.

Carth · 06-08-2021, 16:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by RichardCoulter

snip
Yes saying things that you know full well will upset other people and having no care or empathy about it is a sign of a mental illness/disability.

I see . . . so I have to live my life lying to people because they can't handle the truth?

PS . . where do I apply for my payments

peanut · 06-08-2021, 16:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sephiroth

Always make allowances, especially when the need is brought to your attention. "Wind your neck in" when Jaymoss is making a point about tolerance and understanding proves my point about you and some others.

Yes, he made a point which was completely wrong. But now you state it's about tolerance and now even yourself has accused me of not having any, also proves you're wrong too and you're judging me wrongly on a mistakenly taken post.

As for tolerance and understanding, yes there should be some when brought to attention but should also work both ways too.

Sephiroth · 06-08-2021, 16:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by peanut

Yes, he made a point which was completely wrong. But now you state it's about tolerance and now even yourself has accused me of not having any, also proves you're wrong too and you're judging me wrongly on a mistakenly taken post.

As for tolerance and understanding, yes there should be some when brought to attention but should also work both ways too.

Your distortion of what I said reinforces my point. To remind, I said:

Quote:

Always make allowances, especially when the need is brought to your attention. "Wind your neck in" when Jaymoss is making a point about tolerance and understanding proves my point about you and some others.

Indeed tolerance should work both ways. Have a go at me by all means; I can give as good as I get. RC is another who actually tolerates the barbs thrown at him. But I'm fairer game than RC given what he has explained about himself.

peanut · 06-08-2021, 16:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sephiroth

Your distortion of what I said reinforces my point. To remind, I said:

Indeed tolerance should work both ways. Have a go at me by all means; I can give as good as I get. RC is another who actually tolerates the barbs thrown at him. But I'm fairer game than RC given what he has explained about himself.

Why should I have a go at you or anyone for that matter? I'd rather keep this on topic.

Jaymoss · 06-08-2021, 16:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by peanut

That is a leap. Move on meaning instead of making a rod for your own back.

As for judging, I take him as face value like everyone else. Wind your neck in, lol.

Neck is not wound out just engaging in a discussion.

It is not a leap at all. "Move on meaning instead of making a rod for your own back" people with certain mental health issues have little or no control over them. Some rely on medication. I do not know what condition Richard has or how it effects his life.

Ironically you say you take everyone at face value which is the point of this whole thread of course and not understanding hidden disabilities.

RichardCoulter · 06-08-2021, 16:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul

Ummm ...

You find it odd that people question a 'hidden' disability

You do know the meaning of hidden, right ?

If someone informs you that they have a hidden disability, this should be accepted as opposed to, by fault or design, people making things worse by questioning or judging. The programme explains it all.

Jaymoss · 06-08-2021, 17:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carth

I see . . . so I have to live my life lying to people because they can't handle the truth?

PS . . where do I apply for my payments

cannot handle your truth which could well not be the truth at all

peanut · 06-08-2021, 17:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaymoss

Neck is not wound out just engaging in a discussion.

It is not a leap at all. "Move on meaning instead of making a rod for your own back" people with certain mental health issues have little or no control over them. Some rely on medication. I do not know what condition Richard has or how it effects his life.

Ironically you say you take everyone at face value which is the point of this whole thread of course and not understanding hidden disabilities.

Ok, I agree to disagree, not worth going over it.

The title of this thread is 'Help for those with little or no understanding of hidden disabilities.' Watching a 30 minute program about it won't change anything or anyone. It's human nature to question something that doesn't look right. Dealing with it is something I / we have to live with. Whether you argue with someone or just ignore them, the main thing is for me is to not make it or take it personally. For some that could be a problem that could be helped with.

Carth · 06-08-2021, 17:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaymoss

cannot handle your truth which could well not be the truth at all

lol

Q: Does my bum look big in this?
A: Yep, sure does

OR

Q: Does my bum look big in this?
A: No it looks ok
Q: Are you sure?
A: Yes it looks fine, honestly
Q: You're not just saying that to make me feel nice?
A: No, it definitely suits you
Q: Well . . when I looked in the mirror I thought it looked bad
A: It looks fine to me, honestly
Q: I'm going to change, it looks awful . .
A: Go and get changed then
Q: So it DOES make my bum look big, I knew it *cry* *sob*