Why are people so mean to each other online

[MovedGoalPosts]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-31749753

Originally Posted by bbc

The internet acts like a kind of digital-fuelled alcohol, freeing us to say things to strangers that we would never dare to say if we met them.

Originally Posted by bbc

Trolling has become an established term for people who sow discord on the internet by starting arguments - and there are a lot of them around.

It's something we see regularly on Cable Forum. Users expect that it is their right to expound their point of view, increasingly loudly and bluntly, when others show dissent. Civility goes out of the window and frequently matters degenerate towards a textual slanging match with the opponents feeling safe from the physical abuse as they hide behind their keyboard.

Somehow they keyboard insulates people from reality, and words are typed that we would never dare to say face to face even in a private room, let alone shouted out across the high street for all present to witness.

But is there any way back to a point where users of the internet can have a dialogue, express alternative viewpoints, but do so in a friendly debate?

[Taf]

Some have their own definition of "friendly debate", i.e. "Anything you say against my view is unfriendly".

Some wish to debate, some just wish to argue....

Anonymity gives people the 'courage' (for lack of a better word) to say things, and to say things in a way, they would not dare to do in a physical environment.

As Taf says above, some have no interest in a debate/argument, because they are 'right', and no amount of evidence/discussion will change that view.

[Stop It]

Originally Posted by Taf

Some have their own definition of "friendly debate", i.e. "Anything you say against my view is unfriendly".

This is something I personally really despise, passive aggression.

There is just something about people who claim to be the "reasonable" one in a debate, regardless of their views, and instead turns matters into tone policing rather than debating subjects at hand.

If a viewpoint is sound it doesn't matter who said it, argue the facts in a sound, reasonable way and do not argue the personality behind it.

The internet, and especially forums were designed so people actually could do this, instead people depict others as caricatures of what they hate, in order to attempt to discredit others views. Instead of forgetting the people behind debates, people use projections instead and lose sight of what, or who, they are debating with.

Good discussion can be hand online, it just needs clear and strong moderation, which is the same as any form of debate. Anyone who has went to a council meeting, or debating forum in person will know that without a good chair, things just turn into a shouting match, rather than a debate as volume, rather than quality becomes the metric of measurement. This is exactly what happens online too. The loudest will get most attention if left to it, in any form of expression.

[joglynne]

I don't think anyone finds it easy to have their opinions trashed and I think it is harder to back down on the internet as your every word is there in black and white for all your antagonists to pick over, and over, and over.

Where someone is losing and finds himself in the minority then the whole thing seems to revert to name calling and generally resembles a fight in the school playground.

[denphone]

Yes some people can't debate in a friendly way as all they want to do is throw personal insults and get aggressive and my answer has always been to keep calm and not go down to their level no matter what.

l think sometimes people have to admit when they are wrong but sadly some can never do that.

[Taf]

I missed a comma once and was flamed for days

[Ramrod]

Originally Posted by Taf

I missed a comma once and was flamed for days

....and you can't spell Cardiff either!

[GrimUpNorth]

Originally Posted by Taf

I missed a comma once and was flamed for days

Where's the "." at the end of the sentence?????

Cheers

Grim

Originally Posted by Taf

I missed a comma once and was flamed for days

To be fair, there's a big difference between

Time to eat, children

and

Time to eat children

[heero_yuy]

Some people bring it upon themselves by being such twonks or deliberately baiting others.

Try putting the emphasis on each word in this sentence and see how it changes:

What is this thing called love.

[mart44]

Originally Posted by denphone

Yes some people can't debate in a friendly way as all they want to do is throw personal insults and get aggressive and my answer has always been to keep calm and not go down to their level no matter what.

Originally Posted by heero_yuy

Some people bring it upon themselves by being such twonks or deliberately baiting others.

Hmm... I can see what you mean denphone.

[qasdfdsaq]

Originally Posted by Hugh

To be fair, there's a big difference between

Time to eat, children

and

Time to eat children

Let's eat Hugh


Let's eat, Hugh.

---------- Post added at 14:31 ---------- Previous post was at 14:30 ----------

Originally Posted by heero_yuy

Try putting the emphasis on each word in this sentence and see how it changes:

What is this thing called love.

Interesting point. What is this thing called love?

Originally Posted by heero_yuy

Some people bring it upon themselves by being such twonks or deliberately baiting others.

Try putting the emphasis on each word in this sentence and see how it changes:

What is this thing called love.

I tried this out loud, but I just ended up sounding like William Shatner.

[idi banashapan]

Originally Posted by Rob

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-31749753
It's something we see regularly on Cable Forum. Users expect that it is their right to expound their point of view, increasingly loudly and bluntly, when others show dissent. Civility goes out of the window and frequently matters degenerate towards a textual slanging match with the opponents feeling safe from the physical abuse as they hide behind their keyboard.

Somehow they keyboard insulates people from reality, and words are typed that we would never dare to say face to face even in a private room, let alone shouted out across the high street for all present to witness.

But is there any way back to a point where users of the internet can have a dialogue, express alternative viewpoints, but do so in a friendly debate?

perceived anonymity

if you get stuck with how to deal with them, here are some starters: http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-with-Peo...riendly-Online

sometimes it's situational rather than dispositional - always ask yourself why someone might be saying the things they are, or the way they are saying it

of course, sometimes it's because people just cannot debate and get out-done or called-out. without the ability to debate, you'll have issues on debate forums.