19-07-2011, 15:38
|
#1576
|
|
Permanently Banned
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Wales UK
Age: 44
Services: 50mb Cable, L TV and Phone XL.
Posts: 3,480
|
Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread
My boss came out into the office and said to me, "If you're going to fart, make sure you go to the toilet."
So on my next fart I followed through.
|
|
|
|
21-07-2011, 19:56
|
#1577
|
|
Permanently Banned
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Wales UK
Age: 44
Services: 50mb Cable, L TV and Phone XL.
Posts: 3,480
|
Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread
I was at the Bank Cash Point today and an old man asked me to help check his balance... So I pushed him! I'm always willing to help! 
|
|
|
|
|
23-07-2011, 11:20
|
#1578
|
|
Inactive
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Manchester, UK
Services: ClearFibre Internet, Vodafone mobile Google Pixel 4
Posts: 9,699
|
Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread
A man walks into the Doctors:
Doctor, Doctor, help me! I'm addicted to Twitter.
Doctor: Sorry, I don't follow you...
|
|
|
|
|
28-07-2011, 17:33
|
#1579
|
|
Permanently Banned
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Wales UK
Age: 44
Services: 50mb Cable, L TV and Phone XL.
Posts: 3,480
|
Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread
A lady stopped me as I walked past the bus stop today.
She said, "How much are buses these days?"
I said, "Sorry love I don't know, at a guess I'd say probably about £350,000 for a double decker."
|
|
|
|
|
06-08-2011, 20:44
|
#1580
|
|
Permanently Banned
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Wales UK
Age: 44
Services: 50mb Cable, L TV and Phone XL.
Posts: 3,480
|
Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread
I just knocked on my neighbours door and said, "Have you got any condoms?"
He said, "I've got piles."
I said, "Sorry to hear that mate, have you got any condoms?"
|
|
|
|
|
07-08-2011, 20:39
|
#1581
|
|
cf.geek
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Near Newcastle upon Tyne
Services: Player tv , V6, phone l, bb 100Meg.
Posts: 901
|
Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread
Maybe he thought you were making a pass at him and it was his way of saying your not his type. 
|
|
|
|
|
09-08-2011, 09:06
|
#1582
|
|
Inactive
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Glasgow
Services: SkyHD and Broadband
Posts: 9,158
|
Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread
Too soon?
What's difference between Mark Duggan & Peter Crouch?
A. Crouch never set Tottenham alight
|
|
|
|
|
09-08-2011, 14:00
|
#1583
|
|
Permanently Banned
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Wales UK
Age: 44
Services: 50mb Cable, L TV and Phone XL.
Posts: 3,480
|
Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread
i would have thought the Mods wouldnt have stopped so low.
|
|
|
|
|
12-08-2011, 22:52
|
#1584
|
|
Inactive
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Glasgow
Services: SkyHD and Broadband
Posts: 9,158
|
Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread
I've just seen an 80's soul singer running down the high street carrying a 42" plasma TV.
I swear it was Looter Vandros
|
|
|
|
|
12-08-2011, 23:23
|
#1585
|
|
cf.mega poster
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 16,324
|
Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread
Derek mate, find somebody else to get your jokes off. the one you are using is crap 
|
|
|
|
|
17-08-2011, 17:40
|
#1586
|
|
Permanently Banned
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Wales UK
Age: 44
Services: 50mb Cable, L TV and Phone XL.
Posts: 3,480
|
Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread
whats 9 inches long and keeps a woman happy for ages?
an iron
|
|
|
|
|
17-08-2011, 22:05
|
#1587
|
|
cf.mega poster
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 16,324
|
Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread
They'll love mine then. it's 11 inches long. if you include the base.
|
|
|
|
|
17-08-2011, 23:20
|
#1588
|
|
Inactive
Join Date: Nov 2007
Services: 30mb BB, XL TV, V+, TiVo, talk unlimited.
Posts: 4,143
|
Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread
Mine is quite old and dribbles a lot.
|
|
|
|
|
23-08-2011, 14:01
|
#1589
|
|
EU citizen proud of it!
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Belfast
Services: TV 360 Maxit TV, Gig1 bb & a landline.....
Posts: 1,299
|
Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread
Dear Santa,
dont ****ing bother coming this year.
I've got loads of stuff already.
Delroy
Age 9
Tottenham
__________________
advertise here...........
|
|
|
|
|
25-08-2011, 17:32
|
#1590
|
|
cf.mega poster
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 16,324
|
Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread
Sorry about the caps. that's how I was sent it.
IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOUR.
IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET SHOT.
IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.
IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY
YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.
IF YOU CROSS THE UK BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET
A JOB, A DRIVERS LICENCE, NATIONAL INSURANCE CARD,
WELFARE, CREDIT CARDS, SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE, FREE EDUCATION, FREE HEALTH CARE, BILLIONS OF POUNDS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE, THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY'S FLAG WHILE YOUP ROTEST THAT YOU DON'T GET ENOUGH RESPECT FROM THE BRITISH AND, IN MANY INSTANCES, YOU CAN VOTE.
|
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 04:10.
|
Join CF
You are here: 
