School helped secret abortion - Page 11

Ramrod · 13-05-2004, 23:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

Even if that resulted in her being disowned and thrown out on the street?

Trying to be emotive there? If she was thrown out then social services would take her in. All I am saying is that if a person is a minor then their ultimate wellbeing rests with their parents. Yes, their parents may well be t*ssers....and if thats the case then social will maby be aware of that and act accordingly but in this case we don't know either way.....so assuming the mother was 'decent', how does she feel now that her daughter has had a baby terminated without the parents being informed of the situation? How would you feel if your 14yo, or 10yo child had some medical procedure performed on them without your prior knowledge or consent?

Chimaera · 13-05-2004, 23:42

Aside from all the rights and wrongs in this case (which i'm not even going into) I just find it really sad that she felt she couldn't go to her mother!

kronas · 13-05-2004, 23:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chimaera

Aside from all the rights and wrongs in this case (which i'm not even going into) I just find it really sad that she felt she couldn't go to her mother!

thank you, the voice of reason has landed in this thread

Xaccers · 13-05-2004, 23:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by kronas

thank you, the voice of reason has landed in this thread

As Ramrod and I have said, we totally agree Chimera.
I'd be more concerned for my daughter's current health and that she felt she couldn't talk to me, or her mother.
I'd be wondering how I'd failed as a parent to put her in that position of not being able to tell us.

kronas · 13-05-2004, 23:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

As Ramrod and I have said, we totally agree Chimera.
I'd be more concerned for my daughter's current health and that she felt she couldn't talk to me, or her mother.
I'd be wondering how I'd failed as a parent to put her in that position of not being able to tell us.

yes, so why exactly are we discussing the point of her actually telling her parents or not telling them.

Chimaera · 13-05-2004, 23:52

I think it's more a case of the part the school played Kronie!
(Not wishing to start it all up again)

kronas · 13-05-2004, 23:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chimaera

I think it's more a case of the part the school played Kronie!
(Not wishing to start it all up again)

well some people think they did the right thing, i made my standpoint clear, parents should have been notified.

Xaccers · 14-05-2004, 00:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by kronas

well some people think they did the right thing, i made my standpoint clear, parents should have been notified.

Even if that could have resulted in her parents disowning her or worse?
As has been pointed out to me by a friend, some cultures put unmaried girls/women to death to spare their shame.

kronas · 14-05-2004, 00:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

Even if that could have resulted in her parents disowning her or worse?
As has been pointed out to me by a friend, some cultures put unmaried girls/women to death to spare their shame.

yes i was reading your comments and raising my eyelid at the cultural tone of them, so if some men or women so much as look at another man or women in other cultures they 'severely' get punished, so you stop going out and talking to people, yes its a bit extreme......

you get my idea.

everyone is diffarent, people behave diffarently, im sure social services would want to take note if the parents were threatening her, she can get help through school, im not saying ban all school related help, im saying its a sensitive subject that has to be dealt with by parents, not those who have no emotional/real relationship with the child.

Marge · 14-05-2004, 00:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by kronas

yes i was reading your comments and raising my eyelid at the cultural tone of them, so if some men or women so much as look at another man or women in other cultures they 'severely' get punished, so you stop going out and talking to people, yes its a bit extreme......

Xaccers was referring to something I told him and it wasn't just about looking at someone........

kronas · 14-05-2004, 00:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by Debsy42

Xaccers was referring to something I told him and it wasn't just about looking at someone........

i know what hes refering to, he mentioned it earlier on.

Xaccers · 14-05-2004, 00:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by kronas

yes i was reading your comments and raising my eyelid at the cultural tone of them, so if some men or women so much as look at another man or women in other cultures they 'severely' get punished, so you stop going out and talking to people, yes its a bit extreme......

you get my idea.

everyone is diffarent, people behave diffarently, im sure social services would want to take note if the parents were threatening her, she can get help through school, im not saying ban all school related help, im saying its a sensitive subject that has to be dealt with by parents, not those who have no emotional/real relationship with the child.

Just to let you know, the 19 year old I mentioned is white and christian. (and she's got nothing to do with debs)

But as you say, in some cultures things we find unacceptable happen.
An upstanding member of the community who's always been a good father, could, when told his daughter is pregnant, take her out of the country and "save her from shame"

kronas · 14-05-2004, 00:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

Just to let you know, the 19 year old I mentioned is white and christian. (and she's got nothing to do with debs)

ah, ok ( i didnt think that anyway)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

But as you say, in some cultures things we find unacceptable happen.
An upstanding member of the community who's always been a good father, could, when told his daughter is pregnant, take her out of the country and "save her from shame"

yes *sigh but as i said before its diffarent for everybody, if it was my child who never told me i would be angry, i want to be told i am the father parents have the right to know simply because at that age they are young, and need the guidance in these huge decisions....

jeez were going around in circles now lol

Xaccers · 14-05-2004, 00:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by kronas

yes *sigh but as i said before its diffarent for everybody, if it was my child who never told me i would be angry, i want to be told i am the father parents have the right to know simply because at that age they are young, and need the guidance in these huge decisions....

jeez were going around in circles now lol

So what do we do to protect the girls who's parents disown or decapitate their daughters?
Remember, most of the time these people would be considered loving parents, so there wouldn't be a history of abuse.

As for guidance, surely they need advice and honest information, not guidence, from someone who's had experience of the situation, not a parent who's never had an abortion and could be bias against them rather than just giving the facts and making sure the girl actually has made the decision herself?

kronas · 14-05-2004, 00:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

So what do we do to protect the girls who's parents disown or decapitate their daughters?

as i stated before support is available if needed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

Remember, most of the time these people would be considered loving parents, so there wouldn't be a history of abuse.

i see your point, but you cannot hide the truth, not like this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

As for guidance, surely they need advice not guidence, from someone who's had experience of the situation, not a parent who's never had an abortion and could be bias against them rather than just giving the facts and making sure the girl actually has made the decision herself?

it diffarent.......when you have people who know you, and are around you, relationships are diffarent between parents and social workers/counsillors, im sure you can see my standpoint ?