[merged] what to do (etc .....) - Page 8

Frank · 22-12-2003, 17:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bug Infestation

i find it funny that some users, (not you scastle, not the mods either) can't accept a harsh response, or the truth though

Telling a depressed person to snap out of it is not the truth to the matter.

Bifta · 22-12-2003, 17:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Plummer

I'm sorry but I didn't see one part of your post where it could of helped.

Who's to say though, for some people that sort of 'help' does work, and works very well. I've been through councelling, various sorts of antidepressants and sedatives, people smothering me in sympathy telling me it's not my fault and eventually (despite my shock at her saying some of the things she said) I realised that she was actually right, and most of it was brought on by myself, people don't need sympathy, they need understanding and they need professional help but if they're unwilling to actually seek said help then you're backing a 3 legged mule.

Bug Infestation · 22-12-2003, 17:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Plummer

I'm sorry but I didn't see one part of your post where it could of helped.

no, cos the only way people think you can help him is by pussyfooting around the problem, instead of directly telling him what he can do about it

paulyoung666 · 22-12-2003, 17:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bug Infestation

no, cos the only way people think you can help him is by pussyfooting around the problem, instead of directly telling him what he can do about it

just a minute , you said he is a best friend , yes ???????? , so you have tried the direct beat him around the head approach ????????? , did it work then ??????????

Nor · 22-12-2003, 17:51

When people are clinically depressed they support rather than confrontation. There is no benefit in telling someone who is clinically depressed that they are stupid, its all their fault and they should do this and this.

Most people gave good advice, to visit the doctor, and were supportive at the same time.

Bug Infestation · 22-12-2003, 17:52

paul, this is the first attempt at it. we try small doses of it but he goes off on one and it's hard to take him seriously when he's trying to be threatening.
it's hard to tell how he reponded to this for several reasons
1. he hasn't seen it yet
2. it isn't here now

paulyoung666 · 22-12-2003, 17:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bug Infestation

paul, this is the first attempt at it. we try small doses of it but he goes off on one and it's hard to take him seriously when he's trying to be threatening.
it's hard to tell how he reponded to this for several reasons
1. he hasn't seen it yet
2. it isn't here now

fair play my mate , at least you answer sensibly

Bug Infestation · 22-12-2003, 17:53

how can you give good advice when he hid important facts from you nor?

Bug Infestation · 22-12-2003, 17:55

i thought this would be the best place for him not to avoid it paul

Bifta · 22-12-2003, 17:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nor

When people are clinically depressed they support rather than confrontation. There is no benefit in telling someone who is clinically depressed that they are stupid, its all their fault and they should do this and this.

Most people gave good advice, to visit the doctor, and were supportive at the same time.

And his reponse was that he didn't want to see a doctor. Bug Infestation say's he see's him every day, how do you know that he HASN'T tried the softly softly approach already (and got nowhere)?

Sociable · 22-12-2003, 17:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bug Infestation

no, cos the only way people think you can help him is by pussyfooting around the problem, instead of directly telling him what he can do about it

OK let's look at the evidence so far.

You claim to be his friend and presumably have been offering your "help" for some time now and just look at the result.

Doctors can and do help by providing medication that can (in some situations) help the person to cope with the painful process of dealing with the problems they face. But they would be the first to say this is only a small part of the solution as without treating the cause rather than just the symptom its a bit like treating a hole in the heart with a plaster.

It is not unusual though for individuals to need some help just to get to the point of being able to seek help let alone actually get to a doctors office.

I know you feel you are just trying to help but trust me this time you are playing with someones life and for all your good intentions are probaly doing more harm than good because of your lack of maturity and understanding.

Please be a friend to Kronas and put your own ego away for a while.

Nor · 22-12-2003, 17:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bug Infestation

how can you give good advice when he hid important facts from you nor?

True I guess I don't know the full story. But he's said hes clinically depressed and the best advice you can give, regardless of other factors that we don't know about, is to goto the doctors and let them help.

Thing is, when you are depressed, you aren't rational. The way you think isn't how you'd normally think. People telling you to be rational and do this and this and that you brought it upon yourself isn't going to do any good. What you need is to sort out the chemical imbalance in the brain first and then you can actually start to deal with all the causes that led you there in the first place.

[edit] I actually feel a little off posting this here though, doesn't seem right to be discussing it all out in the open like this.

Sociable · 22-12-2003, 18:03

Can The admins close the thread for a few nor is right this is not going to be helping anyone let alone Kronas.

**Mick** · 22-12-2003, 18:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bug Infestation

no, cos the only way people think you can help him is by pussyfooting around the problem, instead of directly telling him what he can do about it

You want to try and be in kronas shoes.

I have been in a suicide state of mind, I have been down that 'road' because a few years ago I lost my grandma's in a space of 18 months, a month later a friend & colleague died so no matter where I went for period of months I was surrounded by death at work and at home. Should I of snapped out of it at the time? No, I couldn't. You cannot just snap out of it when you feel like it and I had the same sort of attitudes like you who have said Come on, Michael, you got your life ahead of you. Michael, your not looking very tidy today, you badly need a shave, you were wearing that shirt yesterday and the day before, you need to get your act together... All them comments did not help me infact made me worse, the only thing that helped was learning to accept my problems and learning to deal with them and by also talking to the people that mattered to me. It takes along time and progress should be made at the pace of the depressed person and certainly not yours.

paulyoung666 · 22-12-2003, 18:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Plummer

You want to try and be in kronas shoes.

I have been in a suicide state of mind, I have been down that 'road' because a few years ago I lost my grandma's in a space of 18 months, a month later a friend & colleague died so no matter where I went for period of months I was surrounded by death at work and at home. Should I of snapped out of it at the time? No, I couldn't. You cannot just snap out of it when you feel like it and I had the same sort of attitudes like you who have said Come on, Michael, you got your life ahead of you. Michael, your not looking very tidy today, you badly need a shave, you were wearing that shirt yesterday and the day before, you need to get your act together... All them comments did not help me infact made me worse, the only thing that helped was learning to accept my problems and learning to deal with them and by also talking to the people that mattered to me. It takes along time and progress should be made at the pace of the depressed person and certainly not yours.

spot on the mark i reckon , and it takes guts to post summat like that