Relationships and religion

Escapee · 28-09-2003, 09:33

Hi all,

I just wondered what opinions you guys/gals have on relaionships involving two people that have different views when it comes to religion?

Does anyone think a relationship will work involving one party who is a regular church attendee and the other party who last went to church when forced to by the school for the harvest festival around 25 years ago!

Will it work ?

Theodoric · 28-09-2003, 15:38

Reading between the lines (and probably getting it entirely wrong), I would guess that you are the non-religious one.

In answer to your question, if the church attendee is a middle of the road C of E type, then, from my personal experience, there shouldn't be any problems if you behave sensibly and refrain from too many 'all religion is a load of rubbish' type comments.

If the church attendee is some fanatical religious type then, to be honest, I wouldn't really like to hazard a guess. However, if there are early signs that they are trying to convert you, then I'd heed the warnings.

28-09-2003, 16:31

Quote:

Originally posted by Escapee
Hi all,

I just wondered what opinions you guys/gals have on relaionships involving two people that have different views when it comes to religion?

Does anyone think a relationship will work involving one party who is a regular church attendee and the other party who last went to church when forced to by the school for the harvest festival around 25 years ago!

Will it work ?

From what i know of other religions, including Islam, i would have thought it wasn't the issue of actually attending services that was the cause for possible friction but the belief in one God.
If both have a belief in the existence of this being then the other potential issues can be resolved relatively easily. But every individual case is different as are people's religious beliefs.
It's something that the couple would have to deal with as best they can if they think the relationship is likely to be a long term one, since it will no doubt have an effect on the upbringing of any offspring that they may have.
You only mention that the second person has not been to church for years..... but do not mention their beliefs. I don't believe them to be one and the same

kronas · 29-09-2003, 20:24

escapee it really depends on if either of the persons are going to impose there views if they have differing views on religion you could be in for a interesting argument

but if both of them can live with each others views and let each other do as they please regarding religion and not force any views on each other it should work

Tiptoes · 30-09-2003, 10:02

Spot on Krona

Couldnt agree More

Russ · 30-09-2003, 10:23

The problem is, a lot of people who have views on this subject will have no religious belief, they are only looking in from the outside. When you are a practising Christian/catholic/whatever, the situation is different.

Bex · 30-09-2003, 12:20

i'm often told by my christian friends that i should not date non-christians.................but i've dated christians and non christians and i don't really think there is a lot of difference, the most important thing is that the person you are dating respects your views...............respect is the important thing here not whether they share your view.....well thats what i think anyway

**Chris** · 30-09-2003, 17:49

On the face of it it ought to make no difference. I have Christian friends and non-Christian friends and the fact that I believe something and they don't doesn't cause friction.

My note of caution however is that anyone who takes their religion seriously (I am one of these) considers it to be a pattern for living, not just attending a religious ceremony once a week. This is unlikely to cause bother if you're just 'going out', but later if you get married it could cause issues - as Kink says, how do you bring up the children? What's her view on your porn stash (not saying you have one - just making generalisations

)

Escapee · 30-09-2003, 18:10

Thanks for all the views on the subject, it's a bit awkward to give all the details on a private forum but things seem to be going OK.

btw towny she loved the porn stash

I think the fact that her father is a priest possibly makes her not so bad, I guess she just grew up around religion and appeared to stay away from church until recently.

Perhaps it was forced fom a young age and not her choice, it's a subject that I have dared not to ask!

btw I am the non-believer.

Thanks again

kronas · 01-10-2003, 00:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Escapee

I think the fact that her father is a priest possibly makes her not so bad, I guess she just grew up around religion and appeared to stay away from church until recently.

Perhaps it was forced fom a young age and not her choice, it's a subject that I have dared not to ask!

btw I am the non-believer.

Thanks again

hope it goes well it should work out i have recently become freinds with someone who is religious not deeply but he has explained it to me about my religion which i am 'born' in to though i choose not to accept and we agree to disagree doesent change anything we are stil firends nothing changed when he knew that i am a non believer

**Maggy** · 01-10-2003, 11:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Escapee

Hi all,

I just wondered what opinions you guys/gals have on relaionships involving two people that have different views when it comes to religion?

Does anyone think a relationship will work involving one party who is a regular church attendee and the other party who last went to church when forced to by the school for the harvest festival around 25 years ago!

Will it work ?

Who knows?After all there are plenty of relationships between folk of the same religion,even the same church that go awry.

Just appreciate each others differences and adore your similarities.

Incog.

Atomic22 · 01-10-2003, 18:26

theres an old saying .......love conquers all.
it will win over race , colour , creed , religion , bigotry , jealousy etc etc etc
whether you date a religious fanatic or a fanatical athiest makes no difference to it.
and its all that counts in the end

Russ · 02-10-2003, 10:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atomic22

theres an old saying .......love conquers all.
it will win over race , colour , creed , religion , bigotry , jealousy etc etc etc
whether you date a religious fanatic or a fanatical athiest makes no difference to it.
and its all that counts in the end

It's not always that cut-and-dried. Like Towny, I take my faith seriously and it's not just a case of meeting up with a bunch of my fellow Jesus-freaks once a week. There are certain things I cannot and will not do now. We'll start with the obvious - sex. OK I gave in on the night my daughter was concieved but I can't really see many people other than those who share my faith who would be willing to abstain until marriage (note: I'm saying that in the respect of most people in a relationship would find sex to be part-and-parcel of what goes on) so this would certainly be a major issue. I don't feel I'm missing out however, simply because anyone who is not willing to go along with my beliefs simply isn't 'the one' IMO.

**Chris** · 02-10-2003, 11:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atomic22

theres an old saying .......love conquers all.
it will win over race , colour , creed , religion , bigotry , jealousy etc etc etc
whether you date a religious fanatic or a fanatical athiest makes no difference to it.
and its all that counts in the end

Hear, hear, Russ ... and to further address Atomic's post, both my wife and I are committed Christians who take the first commandment very seriously indeed - we put nothing, and no-one, before God, including each other. I would not have married her if I thought she would regard me more highly than she does God, and I know the same is true for her. This, ultimately, is why when considering something as serious as marriage I can't see how a relationship between a committed Christian and someone of another (or no particular) faith could work. I imagine it would be the same for several of the other religions as well, but as usual I can't really speak for those...

By the way, I don't mean to come on all heavy - I know the original question was about dating rather than a full-on white wedding!

Escapee · 02-10-2003, 12:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by towny

Hear, hear, Russ ... and to further address Atomic's post, both my wife and I are committed Christians who take the first commandment very seriously indeed - we put nothing, and no-one, before God, including each other. I would not have married her if I thought she would regard me more highly than she does God, and I know the same is true for her. This, ultimately, is why when considering something as serious as marriage I can't see how a relationship between a committed Christian and someone of another (or no particular) faith could work. I imagine it would be the same for several of the other religions as well, but as usual I can't really speak for those...

By the way, I don't mean to come on all heavy - I know the original question was about dating rather than a full-on white wedding!

I was peased with Atomic22's reply because it does point out that people can change when something else becomes of greater importance.

To take it to the extreme, many years ago we had a family member who was a Jahova's (or whatever) witness. She did not believe in blood transfusions until her daughter was at deaths door and needed one to keep her alive, she very quickly dropped her religion. I also know of catholics that turned their backs on religion to get a divorce so I guess people can change their opinion.

I don't want to take this away from my original question, but the person that I started this thread about said they did not believe in sex before marraige. They have allready broken that rule but still go to church, so I guess she can be classed as a bit hypocritical.

I guess sometimes something comes along that changes things, I guess she (hopefully) feels strongly enough to make her own decisions in life. I guess that I am bad in the eyes of the church because I please myself and no-one else.

Off Soapbox.

Anyway thanks to all of you for the feedback to my question.