Edinburgh Fringe's funniest joke prize awarded to Tim Vine

[Peter_]

Edinburgh Fringe's funniest joke prize awarded to Tim Vine

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-11053202

Comedian Tim Vine has won a prize for the funniest joke of this year's Edinburgh Fringe.
The pun pundit, who won the Perrier newcomer award in 1995, was presented with his latest prize by digital TV channel Dave.

[ChrisLUFC22]

I do quite like Tim Vine and his style, but joke of the Festival?! Seriously?

[budwieser]

"I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone."
Class.

[VirginMediaPhil]

He said himself it wasn't even the best joke of his act, his personal favourite being something along the lines of "I'm going to a barbeque by Sooty, I'll have a sweepsteak".

He's very funny, I've got his DVD "So I Said to this Bloke".

The judges also voted these the worst jokes at the Festival.

Sara Pascoe "Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side."

Sean Hughes "You know city-centre beat officers... Well are they police who rap?"

John Luke Roberts "I made a Battenberg where the two colours ran alongside each other. I called it apartheid sponge."

Emo Phillips "I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them."

Bec Hill "Some of my best friends are vegan. They were going to come today but they didn't have the energy to climb up the stairs."

Dan Antopolski "How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan."

I quite liked the first and the last ones.....

I liked the Emo Phillips one.

Originally Posted by Maggy J

I liked the Emo Phillips one.

Just for you, then.....

"People come up to me and say, "Emo, do people really come up to you?"

"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."

"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."

"People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi."

"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."

"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."

So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon."

Originally Posted by foreverwar

Just for you, then.....

"People come up to me and say, "Emo, do people really come up to you?"

"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."

"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."

"People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi."

"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."

"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."

So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon."

Thank you.