A Bloke is in a queue at the supermarket when he notices that the rather fetching blonde (standing behind him) has just raised her hand and mouthed hello to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a good-looker would be waving to him and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says, "Excuse me but, do you know me?"
She replies "I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!"
Suddenly (breaking out in a cold sweat) his mind shoots back to the one and only time he had been unfaithful.
"Goodness!" he says "I think I remember now, you're that stripper on my stag night that I bo**ed on the snooker table in front of all my mates, whilst your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my b#m?"
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"No" she replies, "I'm your son's English teacher"
Si thee