[hoggyspuds]

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked, "is my time up?"

God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."


Upon hearing this, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even had someone change her hair colour.

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

She was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by a car.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the car?"

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God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
__________________

knock! knock!
who's there?
michael jackson!
michael jackson who?
you're on the jury!