Thread: Jokes Thread
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Old 11-12-2005, 15:35   #361
iadom
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Re: [Merged] The Joke Thread (Part 2)

The Vet

A woman brought a very limp duck into a
veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the
vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head
sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck
Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he
replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I
mean, you haven't done any testing on him or
anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and
left the room, and returned a few moments later
with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement,
the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front
paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked at the vet with sad
eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and
returned a few moments later with a cat.

The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed
delicately at the bird from head to foot. The
cat sat back on it's haunches, shook its head, meowed
softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm
sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100%
certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal,
hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he
handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the
bill. "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell
me my duck is dead!!

"The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken
my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but
with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now
$150.
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