Thread: Jokes Thread
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Old 05-11-2012, 14:40   #1712
carlwaring
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carlwaring has reached the bronze age
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Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vieil Homme View Post
Logic or English for the English speaking people?

Most Women most probably won't understand this, so ask a man to explain it to you.


A wife asks her husband "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!"

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" He replied, "They had eggs."
In a similar vein:

Man: Can I get a sack of potatoes for my wife.
Shop-keeper: I don't know. How much is she worth?

Quote:
Originally Posted by alanbjames View Post
I use to be addicted to time travel,
but now that's all in the past.
I used to like tractors a lot but now I don't. You could say I'm an extractor fan.

---------- Post added at 14:40 ---------- Previous post was at 14:33 ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by thenry View Post
"The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".

Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. "
Just reviewing the ones I have missed and I have two things to say.

1. Thanks. Been trying to remember this one for a while
and
2. I think that one's older than I am :p
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