After his death, Osama bin Laden was allowed a short visit Heaven.
There he was greeted by George Washington, who proceeded to slap him across the face and yell at him, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"
Patrick Henry approached and punched Osama in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."
James Madison entered, kicked Osama in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"
Thomas Jefferson came in and proceeded to beat Osama many times with a long cane and said, "It was evil men like you that provided me the inspiration to pen the Declaration of Independence!".
These beatings and thrashings continued as John Rudolph, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans came in and unleashed their anger on the Muslim terrorist leader.
As Osama lay bleeding and writhing in unbearable pain an Angel appeared.
Bin Laden wept in pain and said to the Angel, "This is not what you promised me."
The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"
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A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl".
The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!" "Oh ,then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" †“ the policeman answers.
"But I am not an American!" †“ says the man. "Oh, what are you then? " The man says: - "I am a Saudi !"
The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog.
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Three strangers at the Great Falls airport are awaiting their flights.
One is a Native American on his way to Helena for a statewide Indian Pow-Wow.
Another a ranch hand on his way to Billings Montana for a stock show.
The third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived, and on his way to study engineering at Montana Tech.
To pass the time they strike up a conversation on recent events, and the discussion drifts to their diverse cultures.
Soon the westerners learn that the Arab is a devout radical Muslim, and believes his people are justified in their 'holy' war.
The conversation falls into an uneasy lull. The cowpoke leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face.
The wind outside blows and blows and the old windsock flaps but no plane comes.
Finally, the Native American clears his throat and softly he speaks:" Once, my people were many, now we are few."
The radical Muslim raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"
The Cowboy shifts the toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson Cowboy Hat says, "That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet boy."
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Everybody has this Islam paradise thing backward. It's not 72 virgins. When you die you get one 72-year-old virgin. Nobody wants her -- she's returned and the next guy gets her
