Quote:
Originally Posted by weenie
Sorry for the long post everyone.
My son just got a phone call from my sister in where she asked to speak to me as I have blocked her number from my house phone and all her calls from my mobile go straight to voicemail where I just delete them as I do not even listen to them anyway I hung up on her mainly due to her arrogant attitude saying what I need to do and I'm pleased to say that I told her news flash I don't need to anything! before hanging up on her.
Then my Dad phoned and asked if things could go to back how they were I said what do mean? then he said that my sister wants me to his housework, shopping and laundry and I said okay Dad but there is conditions he said anything. I said things need to change you will be coming with me to your shopping this will now be fortnightly, your housework will now be done monthly and your washing you have two choices you either learn how to use a washing machine or my sister does it.
I said I'm not being selfish Dad but I want to visit you just for the sake of visiting. I did say to him that I envied my sister just being able to have time and visit without having to do something except have a cuppa and a chat but that is also my fault at not saying enough is enough before now but I suspect now she has had a taste of what I have been doing for more years than I care to remember she crumbles just after a few weeks at how demanding he is, and I thought well blooming fantastic if that is the case.
I also said that I feel that I'm being robbed of precious time with my family at what is being expected of me rightly or wrongly and I gave him a few examples like when I never spent any time with my youngest on his birthday this year as I was the only one apparently who could take him to the hospital in the evening to visit my Mum despite the fact I had already taken him in the afternoon and we both know that was not the case as my sister went out for a meal that night, my Dad finally admitted that was not fair when I said she could have cancelled her meal but no I had to cancel my sons birthday celebrations do you think that was fair and yes Dad I am bitter about that and that was one of the many straws that broke the camel's back.
I think the penny has finally dropped just what I was and expected to do by all parties concerned and the pressure I put on myself.
Hubby said that I could have put any condition to me going back to doing the housework and shopping and my Dad would have grabbed it.
I admit it felt fantastic laying down my terms and conditions to my Dad and saying to my sister I don't need to do anything.
As Osem said "the worm has turned" at the end of the day they need me far more than I need them, it's funny I would have walked over hot coals for my Mum but then again with my Mum I now realise it was a two way street, my Mum never expected she asked and that is the difference.
After reading this post I need to point out that I will still to anything for my Dad just no longer at a drop of a hat like I was doing and if I have something on I will not be cancelling it unless it's a emergency.
|
Good for you, a brave new world awaits
