Quote:
Originally Posted by dilli-theclaw
I get people turning up from two hundred miles away with a broken pc and no notice at all. Gotta love it!  |
I've got you down for a visit when mine goes down. Can you PM me your address please?
---------- Post added at 20:44 ---------- Previous post was at 20:38 ----------
Quote:
Originally Posted by joglynne
Hello Mrs Doormat.
Learning to say NO!!!!!! is the hardest thing that a caring, considerate and downright nice person can ever try to do. Your Father uses emotional blackmail on you because he knows it works. As for your sister, well you already know my opinion of her.
I know that you are between a rock and a hard place but if you run yourself into the ground then your Dad will have to become a bit more accommodating as you will end up burning yourself out.
If your Father needs shopping, or anything that you know could wait, then tell him you will do it when you can.... maybe tomorrow.... and if he can't wait till then tell him to phone your sister and just step back and leave them to it. Do not get drawn into a guilt session. Do not carry on as you are doing sweetie. Decide what your priorities are and then gently say NO to the rest.
Your caring husband and son can see what is happening and obviously love you too much to sit back and keep their mouth's shut any longer. Sometimes we wear rose tinted specs when it comes to our families and it hurts when those glasses are removed.
Sending you the biggest virtual hug,
Jo
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Agreed Jo.
@ weenie - Old folks often forget that their families have lives and get all worked up about the smallest of things or stuff that could wait a little. You can't really blame them but it does need to be spelled out from time to time. I had exactly the same issues with my dad in the year or two before he passed away and had to tell him more than once that we'd do our best to help him (he was carer for my mum) but he couldn't just expect us to drop everything every time something happened because we had quite enough on our plate caring for Osem Jnr # 2. For one reason or another he rarely ever asked anything of my siblings but, largely because we were there, we got all the grief and few of the thanks. He frequently wanted to ask my wife to take on the caring role for my mum when he was no longer there but I told him it would be totally unfair to put her in that situation as she already had enough on her plate. It's called being taken for granted, I'm glad I didn't carry on letting him do it to us and I don't feel the tiniest it guilty about it because I know we did far more for them than the rest of my family put together. That was especially true of my eldest retired millionaire brother who was always the favourite even though he never helped them and always tried to palm off what few duties he was asked to perform even right at the end, onto us. I finally told him to get stuffed too and I'm glad I did.