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Q How many Manchester United players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A seven, one to change it, five to moan about it and Ferguson to say that if the ref had done his job in the first place the light bulb would never have gone out.
Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. One asks which type of person is the best to operate on, instantly one surgeon states that it is Manchester United fan because they are heartless, spineless, gutless and also their heads and arses are interchangeable.
The Man Utd virus:
Your PC develops a disorder whereby the memory forgets everything before 1992.
The Man Utd shirt virus:
This one is especially hard to combat as it changes its format every three months.
The Phil Neville virus:
The lights on your PC are all on but nothing works
The Roy Keane virus:
Throws you out of windows.
The Bosnich virus:
Your PC won't save anything
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