[Russ]

When you find out things you really wish you hadn't about someone.

For the best part of almost a decade, I was involved in a massive struggle to see my son - those who know, know.

It was a pretty acrimonious set-up, not helped by the fact I live around 170 miles from him.

Court had been involved which I never have wanted but my hand was forced as I was left with no other option.

Thankfully these days I get to see my boy regularly and I'm proud to say he absolutely loves his Dad.

The relationship between his parents has over the past 4 years or so had plenty of ups and downs but overwhelmingly more 'downs'. I was once besotted with her but I've long since moved on and so has she - all the power to her.

There have been a few court appearances this year but over the past 6 month or so things have been fairly cordial between us which I'm proud of. I'll be completely honest here, whereas she's acted in some very underhanded ways, I've also behaved in ways I'm certainly not proud of but I own it and pledge to do better.

So with all that being said, over the past few weeks, I get to find out things she's said and done about me over the years, even stretching back to when we were together. What happens is when she has an argument with some of her friends and cuts them off, they invariably get in touch with me and say "you really ought to know what she's been saying about you etc".

Generally these revelations just bounce off me as she's the past to me. She can live her life however she wants and absolutely why wouldn't she?

But when it involved things she told the kids (she has 2 daughters from a previous relationship who during our time together saw me as their 'dad'), especially my son I tend to lose my brown-stuff.

I really do appreciate how she seems to be trying really hard to be cordial with me regarding things about our son and of course it's my responsibility to be reciprocal but when stuff gets back to me (and it's genuine things that could only have come from her) it's getting harder and harder to grit my teeth and say nothing.

Rant over.