She is now POA and also next of kin as she requested this change and tbh this is the better option (for me anyway) but since this change it is I who has been kept in the dark but i always find out what is going on why because i care, I also phoned the relevant people and made sure she is now the main contact something she told Dad she did but obviously she did not as I needed to do this because they were still contacting myself as she never bothered to update them.
As for keeping her in the loop all I got told when I asked for help or her thoughts was and I quote "I can neither confirm nor commit when it comes to helping out" or "I'm too busy for this"