The two of them arrived late - just after 10:00 - having struggled to find the house. Coming from darkest Wakefield they had no idea about Leeds geography.
First job was removing the old water heater. Screwdrivers are for wusses - hammers are for men. So off came the heater, complete with large pieces of plaster. No worry - plenty of plaster in the van. The heater hangs on a bracket - a strip of metal with two holes. This took just over one hour to install - I timed them. The problem was the missing plaster from the earlier assault on the wall. Much reading of the instructions was needed - obviously had never fitted this model water heater before. A couple of wood off-cuts and some hammering managed to save the day. In their distress, they neglected to drill the third hole, which allows the heater to be screwed to the wall. So it's currently hanging on the wall like a Picasso.
Next came the flue. More heading scratching and instruction reading required. A mobile call to a colleague yielded the necessary information. Now just a case of filling the massive hole around the flue - the old flue was rectangular, whereas the new is round (and much smaller). H&S was cast aside, resulting in a moment of pure comedy as one of the local drunks, staggering and arguing with his demons, tripped over a lump of breeze block that had been carelessly left in the middle of the pavement. So, the liberal application of breeze block chunks and some cement and the exterior looks, er, a mess. Now onto the interior.
At this point I had to intervene - poor lad was struggling to get the expanding foam out the can. I helpfully suggested he turn it upside down, and he was happy again. Next onto the plastering. I mentioned Picasso earlier, though I don't think he did impasto as good as this guy did. The North Sea on a Windy Day. And on the subject of art - I move onto modern art, or rather the pipework. Was a little worried he didn't protect the wall, but he quickly proved that the paintwork wasn't flammable. All done - just to commission it.
Back to art again - performance art. After running the heater for several minutes, fitter two noticed that part of the flue (part of the seal) had dropped off. Bit of a problem - the flue is now plastered/cemented/foamed/breeze blocked in place. So out came the fan - only it was hot. More comedy. Fitter one passes searing hot screw from fan to fitter two - who, after a few seconds, releases that screw is hot and flings screw in the air. Much searching on the carpet then ensued. Fortunately, fitter one had gloves, so was able to remove the fan unit. Unfortunately, it rolled out of his hand - but he daftly, I mean deftly, caught it in the crook of his arm. A bad day to pick the short sleeved top. After much juggling, the loose seal is returned to it's correct position and the fan unit re-fitted. Commissioning continues. Cover goes on. All done by the cleaning. Only took five hours, including lunch.
CORGI registered huh
