A forwarded Email
TAKE NOTE OF THE LAST SENTENcE)
A Jobless man applied for the position of "office boy"
at Microsoft.
The
HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning
the floor as a
test. "You are employed" he said. "Give me your e-mail
address and
I'll
send you the application to fill in, as well as date
when you may
start.
The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither
an email". "I'm
sorry", said the HR manager. If you don't have an
email, that means
you
do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the
job."
The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what
to do, with only
10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the
supermarket and buy a
10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door
to door round.
In
less than two hours, he succeeded to double his
capital. He repeated
the operation three times, and returned home with $60.
The man realized that he can survive by this way, and
started to go
everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money
doubled or tripled
every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck,
and then he had
his
own fleet of delivery vehicles.
5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food
retailers in the US.
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to
have a life
insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chose a
protection
plan.
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked
him his email.
The
man replied, "I don't have an email." The broker
answered curiously,
"You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to
build an empire.
Can you imagine what you could have been if you had
an e mail?!!"
The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be
an office boy at
Microsoft!"
Moral of the story
M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.
M2 - If you don't have internet, and work hard, you
can be a
millionaire.
M3- If you received this message by email, you are
closer to being an
office boy/girl, than a millionaire...
P.S - Do not forward this email back to me, I am
closing my email &
going to sell tomatoes!!!
---------- Post added at 08:42 ---------- Previous post was at 08:35 ----------
INTERNATIONAL RULES OF MANHOOD
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following
circumstances:
a. If a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally
killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a
friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is
forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another
man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly
optional.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not
the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you
may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's
playing.
10: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought
her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of
flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when
you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model
and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you
allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos, ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as
spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to
drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal
footing: i.e. both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other
situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on
longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the
phone.Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a
friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird
and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets a Kleenex box. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics ever.
We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you
really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed
the definition of each is listed below.
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask, "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys
smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on
the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next !"