[handyman]

Daddy Calling Home
((RING))))
((RING))))
**Pick Up**
"Hello?"
"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul"
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul"
"Oh yes I do and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now"
** Brief Pause**
"Uh, okay then, .this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door,and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway"
"Okay Daddy, just a minute"
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it Daddy"
"And what happened honey?" he asked
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.
Then she tripped over the rug,hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and
he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead"
**Long Pause***
***Longer Pause**
Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool??"... Is this 486-5731??


---------- Post added at 14:26 ---------- Previous post was at 13:20 ----------

Originally Posted by Gareth

Apologies in advance for the following joke, which some will undoubtedly consider in poor taste, but here goes anyway...

A South African gold miner loses his leg in a mining accident and is sat in hospital talking to his mate.

"Well that's me screwed. Who on earth is going to want a one legged gold digger?"

His mate replies, "Well, you could try Paul McCartney!"

Strictly speaking this should go in the funny pictures thread but....