"Two Birds" Prescott admits affair †“ wife and mistress both 'crushed'
John Prescott has got one over on his cabinet colleagues, David Blunkett and the late Robin Cook, by getting his leg over with one of his secretaries. Tracey Temple, 43, was a diary manager at the ODPM and is now recuperating in hospital after sustaining crush injuries. The alleged politician †“ who loves to have two of everything - admitted to the affair today, just after breakfast and slightly before elevenses: "It's true," said the hulking northerner, "and yes, I'm just as surprised as you are that I managed it."
Prescott, whose name features as the answer in Trivial Pursuit to the question 'who ate all the pies', is believed to have started the affair with Miss Temple at a Christmas party as he waited impatiently for the food to arrive. "He told me he was famished," said the former mistress, "and then he asked me to go and hurry the caterers along. When I did this for him he must have taken a shine to me and it just took off from there. I suppose he just associated me with a large buffet."
Although the affair was reportedly common knowledge, it is believed that only the two protagonists themselves, and a large winching firm employed by Mr Prescott, had any idea what was really going on.
The deputy, back-up, stand-in prime minister is no stranger to controversy. In 2002 he was involved in a fracas with several Greenpeace activists on Brighton beach who mistakenly believed he was a beached whale. The activists began throwing water over Prescott, hoping to keep him cool until he could be returned to the sea. Instead, Two Jags lost his cool and began punching the do-gooders until they ran away.
"I've discussed this with my wife and we just want to be left alone so please don't come to my house," pleaded Prezza, "unless, of course, you're the pizza delivery boy."
