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Originally Posted by scrotnig
1. How did you find out about God?
___ Other (specify):
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I woke up one day and realised that I *was* God, you puny Mortal!
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2. Which model of God did you acquire?
___ None of the above;
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Fear My power and bow down before Me!
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3. Did your God come to you undamaged, with all parts in good
working order and with no obvious breakage or missing attributes?
__ Yes __ No
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How dare you imply that I am imperfect! Beware or I shall smite thee!!
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4. What factors were relevant in your decision to acquire a God?
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Are you not reading My answers? Forsooth, though My patience be infinite but do you sorely try it!
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5. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in
addition to God? Please check all that apply.
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Pah! I need none of these worthless toys.
(Although Playboy and Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll do have a certain appeal...)
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6. Have you ever worshipped a false God? If so, which false God
were you fooled by? Please check all that apply.
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They are all fools if they do not worship Me!
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7. God employs a limited degree of Divine Intervention to preserve
the balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Which would
you prefer:
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What makes you think you are worthy of My intervention?
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8. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and
miracles. Please rate on a scale of 1 to 5 God's handling of the
following, where 1 = unsatisfactory, 5 = excellent:
9. Please rate the following on a scale of 1 to 5, where 1 =
unsatisfactory, 5 = excellent:
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I am working on these. Please ask again later.
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10. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for
improving the quality of God's services?
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WORSHIP ME NOW!!!