One-liners:
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
God must love stupid people, he made so many.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
