[Russ]

Just heard that this year's housemates may well involve:

Wendy: A married woman likely to be a "mother figure" to the younger ones.

Abby: Sexy, long-haired brunette describes herself as a hippy chick.

Bruce: Tanned, blue-eyed 26-year-old IT expert tipped to be this year's BB hunk.

Christopher: No-nonsense, trendy male nurse who could patch up after rows.

Darren: Marginally better looking than The Office's Gareth, a desperate wannabe.

Fiona: Fun-loving sex-kitten aged 20 set to be a sure-fire rival to Sophie.

Christopher: "Laugh-a-minute" Jack-the-lad labourer, aged 28 and "up for anything".

Wayne: Balding, speccy, goatee geek in his early 30s, who works as carpenter.

Steve: Cheeky-chappy builder in his 20s and possibly in touch with feminine side.

Shell: Bottle-blonde mutton-dressed-as-lamb in her 40s - cringe-worthy TV.

Sophie: Blonde bombshell in her 20s - BB bosses' big hope for nookie in house.

Rupert: Ex-male stripper working as a dustman in his 20s and in love...with himself.

Mike: A receptionist in his 20s who hopes the house will be like a mini-Ibiza club.

Leonard: Mid-life crisis dad in his 50s - oldest ever Big Brother contestant.

David: Rugged ex-cop in his 30s - bound to be the housewives' favourite.

David (again): Chubby dad-of-three churchman in his 40s, now working as a teacher.


What?? No gays/lesbians/transexuals????

What on earth are they playing at???