1. Stop saying "I told you so" at the office.
2. Stop telling old man Jones down the street that the "blue screen of death" refers to a modernized voodoo curse.
3. Stop trying to build a defensive perimeter around my cubicle with Lego.
4. Stop spewing bile every time I see the letter "S" "C" and "O" juxtaposed, like in words such as "teleSCOpe."
5. To decipher what that big room is, which has the blue ceiling and poor climate control.
6. Once a week eat something that does not require boiling water.
7. Defenestrate all Windows boxes.
8. Bathe every day, even whilst playing Half-Life 2.
9. Watch the Lord of the Rings movies without picking apart the diversions from the books.
10. Move out of my mom and dad`s basement. And this time I mean it.
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