[Anonymouse]

I suppose this is the time to tell you all: I receive PIP. For the record, I'm a genuine claimant...not that I believe there's any other sort, given how bloody hard it seems to be to get.

I was due to do a Pedestrian Pallet Truck course, another string to my bow. But the Thursday before, i.e. the 5th May 2022, I woke up at about 7:20am - completely disoriented. The room was spinning, my eyes wouldn't track, I had double vision and the right side of my face was (and still is; I suspect nerve damage) seized up.
I'd had a stroke, it turned out. No pain or headache, oddly enough. At the time I was 56.

I'm not sure how I survived. But in one of my books there's a passage where a character is close to death, and he grits his teeth and concentrates on the single necessity of breathing until the danger passes. That was all I could think about. I had no idea what was happening, I only knew there was something badly wrong and I needed help. For a few minutes I just breathed. My brain getting enough oxygen may be what saved me.

Somehow I rang 999. Then I had to get to the front door to unlock it and take the chain off so the ambulance crew could get in without breaking down the door. Again, I don't know how but I did it.
I spent a month in hospital. Bolton At Home assigned me a support worker; she put in the PIP claim. I did some exercises with the Stroke Team.

Two+ years on, I still don't feel I've recovered. I'm on four pills (five for 3 months - folic acid). One is for high blood pressure, and a side-effect is that it makes me unsteady on my feet. But high blood pressure can lead to a stroke - and a second one will likely kill me, so I know which bet I'll take. I appear to be living on borrowed time.

I have tried to convince the DWP that not only am I unfit for work, I can't work. My unsteadiness makes me unsafe, to myself and anyone nearby - Health & Safety At Work Act (1974); H & S starts with and applies to every employee. Plus I get very tired, very easily, very quickly. Just a trip to the local Lidl, about 200 yards, does me in. Imagine me trying to work.

I used to ride a bike. I can't now. I daren't - too unsteady and I've been off the damn thing too many times already.

Even if I could work, an unrelated issue is my right hand, which arthritis has made virtually useless. I can't even make a fist with it. I asked my sister, who was a manager for years, if she would take me on - and she said no, she wouldn't; too much liability. She gave me the impression I would never work again.

I can see her POV - if I were a manager, I wouldn't take on a stroke survivor. They might die on shift - and how, knowing the risk (as I intend to point out in the unlikely event I ever get an interview - H & S again; for the safety of my colleagues and myself I have to tell them), can they prove the job didn't kill the employee? How much could relatives sue for? In this day and age, no company could afford that.

I've been assessed. Not in person - over the phone. How can you assess anyone over the phone? And why does the DWP think they know better than doctors? I'm sure I could get another fit note, but the DWP says I am fit for, and I quote, "some kind of work". No-one has said what kind.

There was a time when, if you had a sick note, that was it. No question. In fact in 2000 when I had an accident and was off work for weeks, the last time I took in a sick note I got the impression my job was at risk, so I reluctantly went back to work...only to be told a few months later that while an employee could do that, they weren't insured while the note was valid. You couldn't be sacked just for being ill, and it wasn't even my fault! If I'd known that I'd have told him to get stuffed!

I miss those days. Nowadays it seems the DWP is allowed to argue, but on what grounds I have no clue. Rishi Sunak and his "sick note culture" nonsense have a lot to answer for.

On the plus side, my PIP payment went in as usual, and no-one's mentioned vouchers to me. Damn stupid idea anyway, and if anything it'll cost more - printing (unless they're online), admin, and the chances are the suppliers will inflate their prices.

I suspect - and hope - it's just talk. I agree that something needs doing...just not this.