Hugh

I like getting them from the "I hear you've been in an accident" companies...

Them "I hear you've been in an accident"

Me " which one?"

Them "how many have you been in?"

Me "Two - one where I lost my legs, and then there was the serious one"

Them (usually) "the serious one? what happened?"

Me "tells them long and tortuous tale, about driving in the dark and snow, spinning off the road, crashing through trees, and then" I say " a fence post came through the front window and decapitated me - killed me stone dead".

Them - silence, usually followed by them putting the phone down...