I haven't heard anything conciliatory emanating from the EU, just threats (veiled or otherwise) about 'what'll happen if...' I don't think true 'friends' of the UK would want to go down that route even if they strongly disagreed with our concerns about the EU's future and desire to leave. They seem to be treating us rather like a child wanting to leave home by warning us that, rather than making things work to the mutual good, they'll cut us off and make life more difficult. Nice...
If any of the other big nations had decided to vote on leaving the EU before us, does anyone think the UK would have reacted in a similarly hostile fashion in order to influence their decison? Is that a big difference between 'us and them'?