Originally Posted by Osem

There have been calls for more people to care for their elderly relatives but how can that be done in practice? What can be done to help families cope with the needs of their elderly relatives, many of whom are suffering from serious and complex conditions like dementia which bring with them unpredictable problems and often require almost 24/7 care?

Unless there's a willing and able family network within realistic proximity, becoming a carer for any length of time is likely to have a huge impact on those involved in terms of their jobs, their future security and their own relationships which come under huge strain. If the toll on carers is such that their lives can be irrevocably damaged in the process of caring how can anyone be expected to take on the job for any length of time?

A good friend of ours has tragically just lost her teenage daughter for whom she's been caring since the girl was born with very serious medical issues. Thus far her whole life has been devoted to her daughter but now, well into her 40's, she's going to lose nearly all the financial support she's relied upon and is now faced with finding her first job and building a career capable of support herself into old age. In caring for her daughter for so long and having no work experience at all, she's effectively sacrificed her own prospects and is likely, I'd have thought, to be reliant on benefits etc. to a greater or lesser extent for the rest of her life.

It may well be possible for a proportion of families to take on and share the caring role in one way or another but for many others that's unlikely to be the case for various reasons and unless they're given more help, the entire burden will fall on the state as would have been the case if our friend had simply put her disabled daughter into care after birth.

In stark contrast to the care of elderly/sick relatives, parents are being encouraged to go out to work and put their children into nurseries etc. with increasing and significant support from the state to enable them to do so. It's ironic that this is being seen as the best option when care of the elderly and sick is increasingly being viewed as a matter for families to deal with relatively little support.

I can't see any viable answer to this problem especially since those who do devote their lives to caring are likely to be left high and dry when their loved one passes away...