You sound like you've got several issues there.
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We tell them to unblock us, they do so by they blacklist us again... Yes, our domain has a lot of spam traffic...
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Is it your own private domain? Why does it have so much spam? If it's sending out a lot of spam, it's time to kick out the ones doing it, or find out why. This is your problem, not anyone else's.
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And I cannot pick up the email direct because the ports are blocked
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What? As in whoever owns your domain has blocked the standard POP3/IMAP ports? Or are you trying to say that Virgin has blocked them? Because they haven't. Not unless you're saying that the
entire domain has been blocked in which case, refer to point 1. Alternatively, try switching to a different DNS as Virgin will only block domains by IP with a court order. If that's happened, then you're up to no good really.
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Is Vm email filtered in any way?
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Your original point is correct, VM's email is essentially a rebranded gmail meaning it has all the same filtering as a standard gmail account. My advice to you would be to just use a gmail account for whatever it is you're trying to do. You can set up your own filter to whitelist anything from your dodgy-assed domain so it doesn't hit the spam filter. If Google is actively blocking the domain completely (as in when you send email from it, you get an SMTP error), then Gmail and Virgin's mail will block identically.
Ultimately, the solution to your problem is to sort out the domain itself.