Quote:
Originally Posted by idi banashapan
so, are you saying that as someone of faith, with children, you are indeed more bias towards getting them to follow the faith you feel suits you best without considering what they might feel best suits them, or without allowing them to stay neutral until a time comes in their life where they are mature enough to make their own choice? Would you freely accept their choice to not have a faith, or if they did have faith, to then abandon it without question?
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Just to pick up a few of your points ...
I have tried to explain how a parent with a faith does not instruct his children in that faith because it is convenient, but because he is convinced that it is every bit as important as preventing his child from falling over a cliff edge. That's how it is in our family. My wife and I are convinced of the truth revealed in the Bible. We bring up our kids accordingly. It is nothing to do with whether it's more convenient for us to take them to church as opposed to getting a babysitter in.
As with all the issues facing children, their ability to understand that they even have preferences, and free agency, develops from a state of non-existence at point of birth, to being highly developed, if not entirely controlled, by their mid teens. Parents take decisions for their children when they are unable to take a balanced decision for themselves. When one of my children, aged 3, decided they didn't want to go out and staged a sit in on the hall floor, I took action appropriate to their age and their ability to understand - and simply carried them to the car. A similar situation with one of my children, aged 15, might involve some discussion as to their place in the family and their responsibilities that flow from that. I will let you know how that works out when I have a 15 year old.
I, myself, gave up on church aged 14, when I was too big to be dragged out of bed on a Sunday. My parents accepted it, albeit reluctantly. They also accepted it when I chose to join an evangelical house church, aged 17, rather than recommit to the Church of England. Similar situations have occurred in my current church. The children are brought up in our faith. The teenagers are not compelled to continue in it.