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Jimi · 01-01-2014, 13:53

.A lady was driving down a country road, doing the speed limit, and was enjoying the drive, suddenly, a hare jumps out in front of the car, she has no time to react, and hits the hare killing it instantly. Absolutely horrified that she just killed a hare,she pulls over, and cries in her car. About 5 minutes later, a priest happens to drive by, notices her, and stops. He comes to her window, and asks "My dear child, why are you crying?" The lady responds through her sobs: "I hit a hare.". The priest says not a word, and proceeds back to his car, opens the back, grabs a spray can, and walks over to the hare.
The lady, now out of her car, is watching the priest spray the hare with the can. Some time passes and the hare springs back to life, dusts itself off, and runs for about 50 feet, stops, and waves. The priest repeats this until they can no longer see the hare. The lady, now awestruck, asks the priest in a shaky voice: "What did you do? What is in that can?" The priest hands her the can, and the lady reads aloud: "... Super Hair, will bring any hair back to life and adds permanent wave.".

---------- Post added at 13:35 ---------- Previous post was at 13:32 ----------

[/COLOR]There once was a woman who got breast implants made of wood.
It would be great if this joke had a punchline...........wooden tit.

---------- Post added at 13:37 ---------- Previous post was at 13:35 ----------

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married?
Feyonce.[COLOR="Silver"]

---------- Post added at 13:48 ---------- Previous post was at 13:37 ----------

A Guinness brewery worker travels to the home of his co-worker with bad news.
'I'm sorry Mary, but Keith died at the brewery today'.
'Oh my god!' replied Mary, 'What happened?!'
'He drown in a vat of Guinness Stout' said the worker, sadly.
'That's terrible! Was it a quick death at least?' asked Mary.
'I'm afraid not,' the worker replied, 'He got out twice to take a ****'.

---------- Post added at 13:53 ---------- Previous post was at 13:48 ----------

At a rent-a-boat company, the caller said into the microphone: boat 99, your hour is up, please head in.

An employee walks up to him and says: We only have 75 boats, there is no boat 99 sir.

The caller then said into the microphone: Boat 66, are you in trouble?

01-01-2014, 13:53	#1755
Jimi Permanently Banned Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Scotland Services: VM Posts: 246	Re: [Merged] Jokes Thread .A lady was driving down a country road, doing the speed limit, and was enjoying the drive, suddenly, a hare jumps out in front of the car, she has no time to react, and hits the hare killing it instantly. Absolutely horrified that she just killed a hare,she pulls over, and cries in her car. About 5 minutes later, a priest happens to drive by, notices her, and stops. He comes to her window, and asks "My dear child, why are you crying?" The lady responds through her sobs: "I hit a hare.". The priest says not a word, and proceeds back to his car, opens the back, grabs a spray can, and walks over to the hare. The lady, now out of her car, is watching the priest spray the hare with the can. Some time passes and the hare springs back to life, dusts itself off, and runs for about 50 feet, stops, and waves. The priest repeats this until they can no longer see the hare. The lady, now awestruck, asks the priest in a shaky voice: "What did you do? What is in that can?" The priest hands her the can, and the lady reads aloud: "... Super Hair, will bring any hair back to life and adds permanent wave.". ---------- Post added at 13:35 ---------- Previous post was at 13:32 ---------- [/COLOR]There once was a woman who got breast implants made of wood. It would be great if this joke had a punchline...........wooden tit. ---------- Post added at 13:37 ---------- Previous post was at 13:35 ---------- What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyonce.[COLOR="Silver"] ---------- Post added at 13:48 ---------- Previous post was at 13:37 ---------- A Guinness brewery worker travels to the home of his co-worker with bad news. 'I'm sorry Mary, but Keith died at the brewery today'. 'Oh my god!' replied Mary, 'What happened?!' 'He drown in a vat of Guinness Stout' said the worker, sadly. 'That's terrible! Was it a quick death at least?' asked Mary. 'I'm afraid not,' the worker replied, 'He got out twice to take a ****'. ---------- Post added at 13:53 ---------- Previous post was at 13:48 ---------- At a rent-a-boat company, the caller said into the microphone: boat 99, your hour is up, please head in. An employee walks up to him and says: We only have 75 boats, there is no boat 99 sir. The caller then said into the microphone: Boat 66, are you in trouble?