[Skyranger]

The rules from the male side.

1) Men are not mind readers. (The first and foremost rule)
2) Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up - put it down. We need it up - you need it down. You don't hear us complaining if you leave it down.
3) Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Just let it be.
4) Crying is blackmail.
5) Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this. Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it.
6) 'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
7) Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8) Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact all comments become null and void after 7 days.
9) If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
10) If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry - we meant the other one.
11) You can ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how best to do it, then just do it yourself.
12) Whenever possible please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
13) Christopher Columbus did not need directions. Neither do we.
14) All men see in only 16 colours. Like a Window's default setting. 'Peach' is a fruit not a colour. 'Pumpkin' is also a fruit. We have no idea what 'mauve' is.
15) If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
16) If we ask what is wrong and you say' nothing' we will act as if nothing is wrong. We know you're lying but it's just not worth the hassle.
17) If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
18) When we have to out somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine - honestly.
19) Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you're prepared to discuss such topics as football, cricket and rugby.
20) You have enough clothes.
21) You have too many shoes.
22) I am in shape. 'Round' is a shape.

Yes, I know I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. Don't mind though. It's like camping, really.
'Sigh' Expect a full blooded response from the girlies.