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Originally Posted by Maggy J
I wasn't smacked all the time and I didn't have to smack my children all the time.This is the fallacy that you like to smear perfectly good parents with.That just because we choose this option that we must do it all the time.The things is I didn't just smack my children..I used a reward system as well..but you don't want to know that I'm sure.You have already labelled me as a bad parent in your own mind.
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I'm disappointed that you chose to put words in my mouth, especially as a mod. I have at no stage called you a bad parent nor have I labelled you or anyone else. it is not a fallacy that a smacked child tends to grow up to be a smacking parent - youself as part of the proof there. obviously, this is not the case for all smacked children, but on the whole there is a trend. there's a reason behind such sayings as 'violence begets violence'.
I chose not to mention you reward system as well because you failed to tell me about it. but now you have, so well done.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maggy J
Neither of my children are criminals or thugs or bullies,take drugs, steal and are delightful adults with no hatred of me at all.
So if smacking doesn't make a bad adult why not smack them?
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Again, at no stage did I say they were - why are you putting words in my mouth again, Maggy?
as for your comment on 'why not smack them' - well surely you can see how ridiculous that statement is??? it makes it sound like you are advocating physical harm or at the very least, physical discomfort, on a child when there is no need to do so being that a smacked child and a non-smack one can both turn out well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maggy J
Good use of emotive language there.Good job that my kids did and still do respect me though.
As I said you must do as you see fit in punishing your children BUT you really should respect that others may have a different way to achieve the same ends.
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hey - they're your kids, do what you want to them. My point is that I believe there is no need to raise a hand to a child when (and even you yourself have stated here) smacking a child makes them turn out no better than a non smacked child in terms of personality. parents seem less interested in talking to their child and listening to them.
if a child runs out into the road, the first reaction of some parents is to drag them back and smack them. Why? were they embarrased that they didn't have complete control over their child and allowed a potential lethal situation to occur? why not explain to the child why what they did was so dangerous? and if the parent feels the child is too young to understand, then at least hold their hand when walking in the street.
children are not stupid. that do understand things. and if they are crying in town, don't smack them and tell them to shut up. stop walking, kneel down at their level and ask them why they are upset. a child cries for a reason, but some parents seem not to be able to grasp that.
as for my final comment you quoted, this is exactly what dictators do. rule with fear, not respect - although they believe it is respect. a slightly delusional state of self importance and superiority. there are parents out there who do the same thing on a small scale with their kids and even wives. I'm not saying you are one of them, but it is certainly a technique that is well in use.