[peanut]

A few years ago I had no understanding of people who are suicidal or those that have actually gone ahead with it. My thoughts were along the lines of that they are totally selfish or just complete nutters.

Fast forwards those years and there came a time where almost out of the blue I understood why they do it or have the thoughts of it. I now live with constant suicidal thoughts, but I keep it under control. To have those thoughts doesn't make me a nutter or on a danger list, it's more of a coping mechanism and they can be a comfort. I don't think I'd ever act on those thoughts, well I hope not.

The easiest way is to explain it is as if you're on a merry go round that will never ever stop (because of illnesses, pain, depression or whatever problems that can't just be fixed). After so long, you can't take anymore, but you can see that big red button that says 'STOP', knowing it is there helps the mind cope.

The selfish label can also be wrong, take depression for example, it's might be that it's not been taken seriously, there's only so many times you can ask for help, and you're on that merry go round and you're all out of options then to hit that stop button can be appealing. To label someone selfish is totally wrong, it's probaly just everyone else's coping mechanism.

There is no way of telling if this guy would or wouldn't have jumped, the thing is that he got attention, maybe that alone stopped him from jumping, I haven't read the report or know his illnesses or reasons. I hope the guy gets the help he needs, one day it could be you.