24-08-2010, 11:07
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#8
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The Invisible Woman
Cable Forum Mod
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: between Portsmouth and Southampton.
Age: 73
Services: VM XL TV,50 MB VM BB,VM landline, Tivo
Posts: 40,367
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Re: Edinburgh Fringe's funniest joke prize awarded to Tim Vine
Quote:
Originally Posted by foreverwar
Just for you, then.....
"People come up to me and say, "Emo, do people really come up to you?"
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."
"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."
"People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi."
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."
So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon."
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Thank you. 
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Hell is empty and all the devils are here. Shakespeare..
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