[Tezcatlipoca]

ELECTION CAMPAIGN STILL THERE

Originally Posted by The Daily Mash

BRITAIN was profoundly disappointed today as the volcano-based news plume dispersed to reveal that the general election campaign has just been sitting there the whole time.

Viewers who watch the first five minutes of News at Ten before switching over to a Living TV programme about ghosts said they were positive it had all been sorted out last week.

Helen Archer, from Peterborough, said: "I thought that telly programme was the election. I told the lady on the phone that I liked the man who looked like a cross between the other men.

"I assumed that would be that, but now you're saying it's going to be on the telly every day for the next fortnight? <removed>."

She added: "I want the volcano to come back. I like that kind of telly news. I find it exotic."