Can`t remember if i`ve posted these before but if i have, sorry!
Subject: Irish Sausages!
"Can I have some Irish Sausages, please?"
asked the Irishman, walking up to the counter.
The assistant looked at him and asked: "Are you Irish?"
"If I had asked you for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was
Italian? demanded the Irishman indignantly. Or, if I asked for
German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? then, warming to
his theme, he went on:
"Or if I asked you for a Kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was
Jewish?
Or, if I asked you for a taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican?
Would ya? Would Ya?" The assistant said: "Well no".
Suitably encouraged by the success of his logic, the Irishman steps
it up a gear. "And if I asked you for frog's legs, would you ask me
if I was French?
What about Danish Bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?"
"Well, I probably wouldn't," conceded the assistant.
So, now bursting with righteous indignation, the Irishman says,
"Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish just because
I asked for Irish sausages?"
The assistant replied: "Because you're in f**king Homebase."
MENOPAUSE JEWELLRY
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,bought me a mood ring
the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We've
discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green.
When I'm in a
bad mood, it leaves a big ****in' red mark on his forehead. Maybe next
time he'll buy me a diamond.
********.!!!!
