[idi banashapan]

work to live, don't live to work.....

you go to work to earn money that you can then spend on little (or large) luxuries, otherwise what on Earth are you aspiring too? you have to have a reason to want to earn money above simply paying bills.

it sounds like you don't socialise or have many friends, otherwise you would know how to have a good time. I doubt very much anyone gets together with friends in order to not have fun. maybe you need a little more confidence in yourself first.

get to know those at work on a more personal level, rather than purely professional (and i don't mean that in a rude way!!!! - unless you like someone in that way, of course!!). Start there, get to know what others like. you spend most part of your day with them, so you might as well know a bit more about who they actually are. once you feel a bit more confident around them, knowing what they like, where they live, what music they listen too, etc, then you can start to build on a common grounding. you know you can then talk to them about something they can relate to. same goes the other way round. tell them what you like so they feel more at ease around you.

once you start to build a rapport, then things wil just flow naturally. don't force freindships though. these are obvious and the more dominant in the 'friendship' (ie, the one who is not begging for friends) will often abuse the trust gained or take advantage of someones good nature, as the less dominant in the relationship will tend to go out of their own way in order to simply please the otehr just to retain the 'friendship'.

be yourself. relax. laugh. smile. not every conversation has to be about work. talk about an embarrassing situation you once found yourself in. people are naturally curious and will listen. once they realise that you are willing to make yourself look silly, but are big enough to make a funny story out of it, others will tend to accept you more readily, as you have proven that you are down to Earth. a real person who does have mishaps, if you will - not just that person at work who doesn't talk to anyone unless it's about work itself.

rapport is key, but don't force it. try reading up on neuro-linguistics and human psychology. it's a fascinating subject and I promise you will learn invaluable skills, even so far as manipulation of situations to favour your own objectives (eg, you want a promotion or are looking for a discount on something for sale). you'll get to learn how others work and will be able to spot trends and habits that certain people have, including body language and speech types, which you can then use to further strengthen your rapport.